(no subject)

[keelywolfe]

Dear god in heaven, I need winter to be over.

My normal winter blues have now hit an epic level of depression and I'm just not sure how much more winter I can stand. (Why the hell I was born in a northern state can only be proof of the universe having a sense of humor.) Thus far today, my daughter and I have only left bed to get food and then we have returned. I've watched two Disney movies and we are now watching some godawful movie about some dog named Kipper. I am going to petition for 'How to Train Your Dragon' next. She's supposed to have preschool today but I'm not sure I can work up the energy to take her.

I don't function well in the winter, I just don't. I do all right at work, actually my store is doing great, but that's about all the energy I can muster. I have about ten loads of laundry that keep LOOKING at me, begging to be washed, but.....eh....here I sit. I just can't do it. My whole house needs cleaning and....here I sit. Sit, sit, sit. Watching Kipper.

It doesn't help that I should be getting my period any day now. Some people get what is quaintly referred to as Premenstrual Syndrome. Me? I get the equivalent of an estrogen nuclear bomb dropped on me every other month or so. Sometimes, it's not too bad and some months, I'm one straight-jacket away from gibbering insanity and like many mental disorders, I never know when I am insane until I look back on it later. (BTW, hormones and I have never gotten along well. Looking back on it, there were times during both my pregnancies that I think I was literally insane and my husband could probably have gotten me that 48 hour involuntary commitment).

So...yeah. I need spring here like, now, I needed it yesterday. I need to stop laying in bed and playing on the internet. Made the mistake of reading a story this morning that was so utterly awesome that in my state is giving me that annoying writerly disorder, OMG,-I can't-write-that-well-and-never-will-why-do-I-even-bother-trying. No writing today then, either. And no games, even my favorite fallback, Left 4 Dead, holds no interest.

I should get up but an unexpected bill just wiped out my bank account until I get paid so it's not like I can go out and do anything. Got the email that my livejournal account expires tomorrow, but I also get paid tomorrow so I'll take care of it then and I really need to just get a permanent account next time they offer them. (It took me three tries to spell 'permanent' and spellcheck couldn't even figure out what I was trying for. Heh.) As often as I have tried to switch to other journals, I never do. I have no trouble with dreamwidth, no complaints, but LJ is a habit that I'm just too lazy to break.

So I should get up. There's stuff that needs done and I need to get up but Spring isn't coming today. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either.

So fuck you, snow. I'm staying in bed where it's warm. How to Train Your Dragon suits me just fine.

Comments

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

How to Train Your Dragon is awesome.

[keelywolfe.livejournal.com]

I really was. I'm a little sad I didn't get to see it in 3-d but it was really great.

[sneezer222.livejournal.com]

I just watched How to Train Your Dragon for the first time the other day. I really liked it!

{{hugs}} for the winter/hormonal crap.

[keelywolfe.livejournal.com]

The only good thing about my bad moods is I get over them quickly. The movie made it all better and I am grumpily doing laundry now. *G*

At least I'll have clean clothes, if not spring showers. ;)

[illariy.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Winter sucks. The only good thing about it is that it ends.

For the heap of laundry and the cleaning etc., it helps me to start with only one load and then more rest. One load isn't as intimidating but is still progress and having it fresh gives me hope to do another. *more hugs and hot tea*

[femme4jack.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I resonate with everything you said. I'm in a really similar place right now. There are days I can hardly manage, and this part of winter is the worst. It is so hard when you work and have kids, because work takes up the little bit of functionality you have, but then you still somehow have to be functional with them.

I feel your pain. You aren't insane. Are you taking Vitamin D?

[keelywolfe.livejournal.com]

I keep reminding myself that it's just a little longer and then spring will have sprung. It'll get here.

I take a whole passel of vitamins and supplements due to various health issues, but maybe I should check what level of Vitamin D I'm getting. Can't hurt.

[kirby-crow.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Want some porn?

[keelywolfe.livejournal.com]

Yes, actually, I would. Porn cures all ills. *G*

I feel better for venting, actually, and after the dragon movie, I dragged my butt up and wrote. Luckily, I never stay in a mood for long.

[xianghua.livejournal.com]

Yay venting helping!

I'm in a similar spot right now (new meds with crappy side effects that are making a dent on anxiety but not stopping it totally + family who considers any meds NOT totally stopping anxiety = me not TAKING said meds + other stress) and I'm trying to force myself to write rather than just mainlining fic with a shiny new fandom (which I'd say is all your fault, because the Human Series totally got me into TF fandom) but which sounds all accusatory so yeah no. I wish I ahd any better advice than just keep on keeping on- I think a lot of times that's all you CAN do with depression is just sort of keep trudging until things get at least a little brighter.

[keelywolfe.livejournal.com]

LOL, at least it's a fun fandom. *G*

It's annoying, but there's never much advice you can give on depression. Once you're taking the meds and taking whatever steps you can, trudging along is the best you can do.

So you keep trudging, too. I guess the whole, 'tomorrow is another day' is a cliché for a reason. :)

[xianghua.livejournal.com]

Well, and at least you know spring IS comin.g. It's one of the reasons I love living in the south- we're into our 'beautiful weather' period before it gets too hot, and that helps a lot- I'm in the process of downloading crap to the laptop so I can go by the taco stand and take the laptop with said fic and the puppy to the park and let her run while I eat lunch and read outside in the sun.

[keelywolfe.livejournal.com]

Oooh, tacos sound good.

I love spring, especially in this house. The people who lived here before must've loved gardening because there are all sorts of flower bulbs that come up all spring and summer long. No one lived here for a few years before we moved in, so it's a little wild, but I like the disorganized look.

I'm tempted to buy a hyacinth that all my local stores have right now. I have plenty in my backyard, but they won't be up soon, and I love the way they smell. Bring a little spring to my house early, maybe.

[xianghua.livejournal.com]

Hyacinths are beautiful! I'm sort of limited on indoor plants (thank you so much, Demonspitz- I think she goes on sprees where she wants to pretend to be a vegetarian dog) but if you CAN have them, the smell does so much subtle good stuff for mood that it really is amazing- even if it's not floral, just green-stuff smells, period. (Not that I ahve ever brought the potting soil bag into the house just because it smells like good clean dirt or anything....)

[xianghua.livejournal.com]

PS: I would offer to write bunny-feeding crackfic or pr0n but I have NO idea what to write. I did try to make Chibi Sunstreaker/Sideswipe art but it ended up being zombie!holo!twins, so yeah no. But it will be cute to animate if I ever bother...

[keelywolfe.livejournal.com]

ROFL! OMG, I would love to see Sunstreaker and Sideswipe as zombie!holos. Three of my favorite things in one package!

[xianghua.livejournal.com]

Re-drawing in Illustrator for ya, then! :P

[xianghua.livejournal.com]

*poke* http://xianghua.livejournal.com/173309.html

[mmouse15.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry you're having one of those days. I hope you have an early spring this year, since it sounds like you really need it.

[keelywolfe.livejournal.com]

On the plus side, though, I got to watch an epic amount of kids movies today. I'm thinking of going for Monsters vs Aliens next.

[mmouse15.livejournal.com]

I really like Monsters vs Aliens! Kid movies are the best movies, IMO, because they're a lot about entertainment, they're not so deep you have to think about them, and they're pretty.

Enjoy!

[batfan-sarah.livejournal.com]

i've totally been there. actually, i was there a few days ago. winter is difficult, and my best friend and i were just discussing that maybe back in the day, humans hibernated in spurts during the winter. most mammals do it - sleep for a few days, come out and eat on a slightly warmer day, and then sleep for a few more. bears are just about the only ones that klonk out all winter long. i think humans just aren't meant to be up and about the whole season, and i've said many times during bouts of winter depression that i just feel like hibernating.

hope it gets better for you - sometimes getting a full spectrum light bulb or two in the house helps. you can pick them up at any hardware store on the way home from work. disney movies help too :)

[devilc.livejournal.com]

Have you been checked for PMDD? I took their self test and charted my moods on that chart and what it revealed made a world of difference to me.

I started taking Vitex and extra B vitamins after I got diagnosed and it has made a huge difference in how bad I feel. I no longer have the wild extremes of emotions, sudden suicidal thoughts, and auditory hallucinations (mostly telling me to kill myself) during the week before Aunt Flo arrives.

If you even think you've got PMDD, try the Vitex and B vits, starting 2 weeks ahead of time.

As for the winter blues and getting myself motivated, well, I'm in a more southern clime, but I do find that exercise helps me. It's not a cure all, but it prevents the blues from becoming midnight-blues, if you catch my drift.

[bluetaelon.livejournal.com]

Winter depression sucks big time, I know it well:( This is the 1st winter I haven't gotten it and I can tell you whats working for me. www.truehope.com its $$$ but it works better then any psych med out there with no side effects save keeping me awake if I take it to late. Added to that is 5,000IU vit D daily, about 15gms of Inositol (its a B vitamin) and on really bad days I'll use a light box although many people find relief from SADD from the lightbox alone. I need all the supps too.

At least April is right around the corner when it goes away:)