FIC: My Mechanical Romance (Human Series)
Sep. 8th, 2010 09:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
keelywolfeTitle: My Mechanical Romance
Author: Keelywolfe
Fandom: Transformers
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s):Optimus/Ratchet
Summary: A continuation of the ‘human’ series, which are in order:
Forms of Life
Too Human
Experiments in Human Nature
Public Education
Knee-Jerk Reaction
Nervous System Hypothesis
Different Applications of Moral Support
This Body Electric
The Unconscious Mind
Subliminal Messages
Greeks Bearing Gifts
In a Dark Ruby Stain
Interruptions in the Key of C
Half to Rise, Half to Fall
Moments of Forgiveness
Topics of Conversation
Lies of Omission
The Theory of Existence
Beyond My Brave Facade
Parental Interaction In The Third Degree
Field Trips Into the Hypothetical
Arrested Developments of the Heart
Necessary Repairs
4x4
Prime and Punishment
Gravitational Drift
Also the AU Attention Getting Device
Notes: Okay, let's start with the warnings! First, if you read the headers, you'll note the only pairing listed is Optimus/Ratchet and that the rating is NC-17. Yeah, sorry about that. Normally, I wouldn't bother to warn for it but this series did start as exclusively Bumblebee/Sam, so I wanted to offer some heads up.
Next, this series is titled the Human Series, so if you're looking for the giant robot sex, it's not here. I think the fanfiction term is 'sticky' porn, which I find endlessly amusing. If that's not the right term, it so should be.
If I were to guess, if anyone out there is just completely HORRIFIED at the thought of reading Optimus/Ratchet, you could probably skip this and just move on to the next chapter when it comes out. I don't think it would be too difficult to figure out what went down. I hope you'll give it a chance, though. If you're like me and big ol' pervert, just enjoy. They will. ;)
~~*~~
Even though he had never been inside Prime's quarters, Ratchet knew exactly where they were. They had always kept their personal relationship confined to the spacious infirmary or, more rarely, Ratchet's cramped quarters. Not that they had ever made an attempt to conceal their relationship; Ratchet was under no illusions that every member in the Autobot army not only knew what they were doing, but probably had various betting pools going on about it. Ironhide had only confirmed his suspicions.
No, he had never met Prime at his quarters for one reason and one reason alone; the polite fiction. If they met at the infirmary or even Ratchet's quarters, they could pretend it was for official reasons. Perhaps Optimus needed repairs or was inquiring about another Autobot's condition. It was certainly possible. But there was really only one reason Ratchet could be venturing into Prime's quarters and even though he was aware of exactly how this looked and that everyone would know within minutes of his first visit here, Ratchet didn't hesitate. This would only take a moment and the knowledge that he and Prime had ended their relationship would spread with equal speed.
Gossip was rampant with Autobot ranks and secrets were difficult to keep.
He didn't bother with anything so human as knocking. Optimus would know he was here and the door opening was an invitation to come inside. To his surprised, Captain Lennox was there as well, sitting on a tiny folding chair while Optimus crouched low on the floor. Both of them looked at him expectantly and Ratchet was at a loss.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were otherwise occupied," Ratchet murmured, already backing towards the door. "This…it's not important. We can discuss it later."
"Nah, it's good," Lennox called up to him with a good-natured grin. "We're about done."
"Yes," Optimus moved with slow grace, rising to his full height and Ratchet thought it was a testament to the Captain's personal strength that his pulse never changed, still as calm as it had been when Ratchet arrived. At least one human wasn't afraid of them. Two, Ratchet allowed. Sam hadn't flinched from them since the day they'd arrived on the planet. The boy had an amazing wealth of personal strength, both for his species and in consideration of what he'd been through in his short life.
"We'll continue this tomorrow when we have more information," Optimus said gravely, his optics on Lennox, who nodded easily.
"Sounds good," he said agreeably. "Get some recharge, you two, big things are going to be happening pretty damned soon." With a quick salute and a knowing look that Ratchet ignored, the human took his leave of them and it was only after the door closed behind him that Optimus turned his gaze to Ratchet, genuine pleasure in his expression.
"I wasn't expecting you," Optimus said, curious but unalarmed. He waited expectantly and Ratchet braced himself for things he needed to say. He had to do this; it was for the best to break things off completely and Optimus might be a little hurt but in the long run it would be better for both of them, for Optimus to be free to find someone more able to give him the relationship he desired.
But when Ratchet opened his mouth he found he couldn't say a word. He ran a quick diagnostic on his vocal processors and found they were fine. He was just strangely reluctant to speak.
Not afraid, of course not. The repercussions of breaking things off would be minimal; Optimus would accept it with the same calm equanimity that he always did because that was who he was, he was their Prime and he would accept any decision Ratchet made, whatever that decision was and he would never treat Ratchet any differently.
They had been friends before they had indulged in any intimacy and they would be friends again, and Optimus would never hold it against him. Ratchet knew that.
And he knew that Optimus would never let anyone know just how badly it hurt him.
Optimus had asked him for whatever he was willing to give.
Perhaps...perhaps he could be just a little more willing. Just a little. He didn't have to break things off right now, Optimus had suggested he take time to consider it. Perhaps it would be best to wait until there were more Autobots on Earth so that Optimus could easily find another to console himself with. Ironhide had been right about that much. Now that they were planning on remaining planetside for the foreseeable future, Optimus could use a good partner.
There was a human phrase, that it was useless to shut the barn door after their livestock had escaped and Ratchet thought the term applied here. He and Optimus had already interfaced. He supposed little harm would result if they simply maintained that for a little time yet. But that was all they would be.
Optimus was nothing at all like Wheeljack for one thing. Dignified where Wheeljack had been enthusiastic, calm where Wheeljack had been near manic, overloading on ideas and concepts, caught in a web of his own brilliance to the point that Ratchet had occasionally forced a medical recharge on him just to keep him from burning out. Cautious where Wheeljack had been anything but.
The only thing they had in common was that brilliant charisma, both of them had in their core the ability to make others take insane chances, whether it was on experiments or in battle made little difference. Any one of them, including Ratchet, would die for Optimus; not because he was their leader, nor because he was their Prime. Simply because he was Optimus.
No, they weren't suited to be partners. It would be better to remain friends with benefits, to borrow another human turn of phrase.
Ratchet found himself speaking before he even realized he had formulated the words. "You said you wanted to touch me?"
Not at all what he'd meant to say but he couldn't retract the words after seeing Optimus visibly brighten, stepping in close. With an internal sigh, Ratchet resigned himself to it. They were both older than human civilization but Optimus engaged in intimacy with the enthusiasm of one who'd only just discovered his pleasurable interfacing software. He did have to admit, that kind of enthusiasm was easy to appreciate. At least it didn't result in any explosions.
Optimus was considerably larger than him but instead of frightening, it was soothing, to be held so firmly in arms that could easily crush him, large fingertips tracing down his back, running delicately along the smooth lines of his armor.
"I still don't see the appeal," Ratchet muttered grouchily, resting his head against the heavy armor of Optimus's chest.
A soft sound of amusement vibrated close to his auditory sensor. "We are not particularly designed for touch sensitivity. But humans are."
A mech with no language coding could understand the implication in that. "You want to have intercourse in a sensor array?" Ratchet pulled back enough to look at him, nearly vibrating with indignant protest, "I am not a simi!"
"Of course not," Optimus soothed, his touches deliberately gentle. "I said no such thing."
"You didn't have to, you pervert," Ratchet muttered. Pervert wouldn't have been his chosen word but the Cybertronian one he would have preferred would definitely have ruined the mood that was coalescing between them. Instead, he simply sighed, leaning just a little into those soft touches. "You're trying to take advantage of my good nature."
The rumble of laughter was not unexpected. "I sincerely doubt anyone could take advantage of you." Wisely, he refrained from commenting about Ratchet's nature, good or otherwise.
You have no idea, Ratchet thought, but he didn't say it aloud.
Wheeljack had been in simi relationship once, before he'd bonded to Ratchet, and he'd shown Ratchet everything he'd learned from it, terabytes of date to process. He'd loved the touching, the sticky mess of organics. Ratchet had been fascinated by the process, still was truth to be told, but he wasn't an organic and didn't care to replicate it. Wheeljack hadn't pressed the issue, even once, and with a jolt of unexpected grief, Ratchet abruptly regretted that.
Again, without consulting him, and he really needed to run a long diagnostic, his vocalizers spoke, "Let me go, then, and we'll try it. At the very least it would be interesting from a researcher's point of view."
He had shocked Optimus, Ratchet noted with amusement. Obviously, Optimus had only been teasing and had probably expected a barbed refusal. That didn't stop him from stepping back with near clumsy eagerness, practically bouncing on his toes like a sparkling as he waited impatiently for Ratchet to form an extended sensor array. If only the others could see Optimus squirming like a youngling in his first interface. He doubted there was any other mech still alive who had seen Optimus the way Ratchet had.
Ratchet kept his sighs internal as he formed a holo, as the humans called it, of the stout, older man that he had created to assist in his duties. The lighted shine had barely dissolved before Optimus was frowning and Ratchet hadn't shifted his sensory perceptions into it yet, left it standing like a mute doll as he scowled at Optimus.
"What's wrong?" Ratchet asked impatiently.
"Why do you still have this sensor array?" Optimus asked, with genuine confusion. "You told me before that it's uncomfortable and you dislike it."
"That's true," Ratchet said, shrugging. "I'm getting used to it."
"No amount of use will ever make this form comfortable for you," Optimus countered. "You set your parameters to the humans expectations of you rather than matching them to your own internal schematics. You're a medic, you know this."
"And you know that having to deal with the panicked humans during a medical procedure is difficult enough without having them terrified of me!" Ratchet snapped.
"Yes, their expectations are important," Optimus said agreeably, "which is why I rarely use mine. The humans expect me to be in my natural form or more rarely, my alternate vehicle form and that is what I maintain for them. But I am not human and their fear doesn't mean you can't have an alternate form that is comfortable right now."
"I suppose," Ratchet allowed, warily. He had a bad feeling that he knew exactly where Optimus was going with this.
"Let me show you my interpretation?" A small smile. "I've seen your internals enough times to generate an idea."
"Oh, all right!" Ratchet grumbled. This time he did extend his sensors into the form, taking the time to transform and back away first. Opening his eyes was disorienting and he steadied himself before he walked over to Optimus, a little shakily. Looking up at Optimus from a human vantage was like looking on Primus himself, terrifyingly large, if he had actually been terrified. It wasn't as if Optimus could, or would, hurt him and Ratchet had no fears.
One large finger touched him and he allowed Optimus access, changed the form as per Optimus's coding, adjusting the dimensions and coloring into whatever it was that Optimus had decided was suitable for him.
Ratchet grudgingly agreed that it was a better fit. An unsuitable holographic rendering was uncomfortable to inhabit, to say the least, and this one suited his mental schematics to a much better degree than the one he had created.
Reaching up, Ratchet lightly touched his face. He had never installed human sensory patterns, although Optimus had given him the file some time ago. He could sense pressure and temperature, the minute changes between them because he needed it when he treated the soldiers but he hadn't bothered with anything past that.
"Here." Optimus transformed with a low clatter of shifting metal, sliding easily into the shape of a large truck and he tipped a side mirror obligingly.
Carefully, Ratchet stepped up on the side rail to look in Optimus's side mirror. Light brown hair, just long enough to brush against his new ears. Pale hazel eyes looked out from behind the small, round lenses of a pair of glasses. He touched them bemusedly. Well, he supposed this said something about Optimus's tastes, not to mention his own internals, considering how comfortably his perceptions slid into this form.
And young! Primus, barely older than Bumblebee. Another face appeared next to his own in the mirror and Ratchet frowned at it, and that frown was purely his own.
"You are aware that I can't use this," he said amused. "The soldiers are expecting a gruff old army surgeon to treat them, not Doogie Howser."
"I'm sure you're right." Hands lightly rested on his hips, faint pressure. Optimus had black hair, deep black that hung just past his shoulders and searingly blue eyes. His form was young as well but at least it was older than Ratchet's. "Add the sensory perception."
"Fine," he sighed. It took a moment to unpack the file and integrate it into his receptors. Now he could feel the hands touching him and took a breath he didn't need, let it out slowly. He had never done this but he'd sifted through Wheeljack's files and knew that species' specifications very well. Humans were obviously more sensitive to physical sensation.
He turned to look at Optimus but his diagnostics hadn't caught up with his changed dimensions and he promptly hit his head on the mirror, hard enough that an error message flashed in his vision. Ratchet cursed loudly although his false human larynx wasn't quite capable of the harsh syllables of Cybertronian. The first sensation he'd wanted to feel in his form was not pain.
"Careful." Optimus's fingers were gentle as they sifted through his hair, rubbing the painful spot soothingly.
"Well, this is certainly fun," Ratchet said scathingly, still smarting from the unexpected pain.
"Come on," Optimus caught him by the hand and coaxed him forward as his side door swung open invitingly. With only a little reluctance, Ratchet allowed Optimus to push him up into the cab, the seat obligingly sliding back and leaving them plenty of room.
"In the front seat? How quaint." Ratchet said dryly, lying back on the wide bench.
"I've been assured that this is a well-established human tradition." Optimus followed, bracing himself over Ratchet on his elbows. It did feel good, Ratchet admitted, grudgingly. Optimus's weight was a comfortable pressure against him and their heights were close enough in this form to match their bodies closely, chest to chest and hips to hips.
Ratchet looked up at him warily, still not completely convinced but if Optimus wanted this, he could at least try it once. "When a human, do as the humans do?"
"Something like that," Optimus said agreeably and then his patience seemed to be at an end as he finally silenced Ratchet with his own mouth. Wet, shockingly wet, the alien sensation of a tongue pressing against his lips and Ratchet opened to it uncertainly. He knew how to do this, data-wise; humans had terabytes of information available about the proper way to engage in their sexual acts and Ratchet had gone through them with clinical interest. He'd never thought to actually use that information.
It did feel good, he decided, allowed Optimus to deepen the kiss, the light flick of a tongue against his own was not unpleasant. A faint sound of appreciation from Optimus was enough for Ratchet to tip his head up into the kiss and attempt to reciprocate, moved his own tongue against Optimus's in what he hope was a pleasing manner. If Optimus wanted to try this, just once, he supposed it wouldn't be too great a sacrifice. At least he could trust Optimus not to share a video file of it.
Optimus broke the kiss, nuzzling at Ratchet's chin and he obediently tipped his head to the side, let Optimus lick a damp path to his ear and stimulate the nerves of the delicate lobe.
This was...different than their other shared moments of intimacy, and not just because they were in a human form. While he might tease and flirt, Optimus had always been generally content to let Ratchet take the lead in the intimate encounters. Even their first interfacing, Ratchet had gone to him, a little desperate and lonely and wanting, and he'd given Ratchet everything he'd been craving and more. Perhaps it was a relief to let someone else take charge of some aspect of his life and Ratchet had had no difficulty in taking everything Optimus offered.
Interfacing with another mech was an internal act, a sharing of pleasure through their processors in order to induce overload. It was extremely pleasurable in a way he couldn't explain to organic species and he wasn't particularly surprised to find that the human sexual act didn't compare. Oh, it was pleasant enough but it was nothing as delightful as a--
"Oh!" he huffed out, surprised at the bright flash of pleasure as Optimus pressed a leg between his own, the hard pressure of his thigh against his groin. Ah, yes, human males did have a large amount of nerve ending in their genital area. Experimentally, he arched his hips up towards that pressure and was rewarded with another burst of pleasure. Rhythmic pressure, Ratchet recalled, a little hazily, that was how humans achieved climax.
He might have continued like that, content to rub against Optimus's thigh but his partner in Autobot perversion wasn't cooperating. He was, in fact, pulling away, pushing Ratchet's shirt up until he found bare skin to stroke with light, teasing touches.
Ratchet started to protest before he even considered exactly what he was protesting and stifled it quickly. This was supposed to be for Optimus and he couldn't even keep from making demands for a few minutes? Far from displeased, Optimus only chuckled softly, the gust of his breath against Ratchet's skin making him shiver even as Optimus edged lower, the damp touch of his tongue skimming just above the barrier of his jeans.
"Get rid of these," Optimus murmured, a touch impatiently, and Ratchet did with vague amusement. Apparently pretending to be human didn't extend to removing clothing like one. It was a relief to have the constricting material gone, his erection springing free and he barely had time to sigh before Optimus slid lower, pressing the wet heat of his mouth against the newly exposed skin.
"Ah!" Ratchet cried out, shamefully close to a wail but he didn't have a chance to consider his own embarrassment. Not with Optimus mouthing him, licking softly and when his mouth finally closed around him, sucking Ratchet's very good approximation of a human cock into his equally well-made mouth, Ratchet very nearly screamed, sinking his hands into the heavy softness of Optimus's hair to hold him there.
He might have been analyzing the sensation, calculating sensation versus pressure, slickness and temperature, engaging in the research he'd considered before. He might have, if he hadn't been busy whimpering and squirming between Optimus and the seat, his fingers clenched tightly enough into Optimus's hair that he could feel strands of it breaking in his grip. All his senses were swamped with the wet suction surrounding him, with pushing up into it even as Optimus obligingly took him deeper, let Ratchet manhandle him as he awkwardly thrust up, trying to get more, please, just a little more--
He cursed loudly when Optimus abruptly released him, the cold air on his wet skin an unpleasant shock and for a moment, his fingers refused to loosen their grip on Optimus's hair, even when strong hands circled his wrists and gently urged him to let go.
"Shh, it's all right," Optimus soothed, crawling up to press his swollen, too-hot lips against Ratchet's in a tender kiss and if he was amused when Ratchet lurched up and clung to him, turning it into a much fiercer press of lips and tongue, he kept it to himself. "It's all right," he repeated, whispering into Ratchet's eager mouth, "You'll like this, too."
More pressure, and Ratchet was abruptly aware that Optimus was naked against him, his fingers slick between his legs and lower, pressing lightly against his backside. Yes, he'd read about this as well and Ratchet forced himself to obey the data he recalled and relaxed, even though his encoded human reflexes insisted that now was a perfect time to tense up. To his human senses this felt strange/uncomfortable/erotic and he tried to ignore it all and simply relax. Even if it was uncomfortable, possibly painful, it couldn't cause him actual damage, not to a sensor array.
Optimus seemed satisfied with his preparation and pulled his fingers free, shifting his hands to Ratchet's thighs as he pushed them up, positioning him and Ratchet obeyed willingly enough. Pressure against him again, larger and hotter, and Ratchet couldn't hold back a hiss of discomfort, struggling to stay relaxed. The discomfort increased and he closed his eyes but he couldn't turn the pain off. Bumblebee had designed this programming with his usual skill and he disdained anything other than true human sensory input, had set it as an if/then conditional construct. If you were using it, then you would feel everything, no exceptions.
"Easy, relax," Crooned softly against his auditory sensor, no, his ear, he was in a human form. "This isn't supposed to hurt."
"I'm fine," Ratchet gritted out. He kept his eyes closed.
A soft sigh. "Of course you are."
He felt Optimus shift slightly and couldn't stop a soft whimper. It shifted into a startled moan when a large, warm hand circled his still-damp erection, stroking him with a quick, tight grip. Ratchet moaned aloud, helplessly; it was strange, it was almost frightening to have his processors interpret a touch as so incredibly pleasurable and yet, he didn't want it to stop.
They weren't the holograms that humans interpreted them as, not a hollow, shallow form of light. Instead they were built as layer upon layer of receptors into a perfect replica of a human being with nervous systems that felt pain and pleasure, and muscles that could ache and clench, refusing entry into a newly created body. Muscles that slowly relaxed and gave, and Ratchet yelped aloud as Optimus sank a bare inch into him. Primus, he felt huge, even as his sensors sent him a quick blurt of body dimensions that Ratchet hadn't seen with his own eyes. It couldn't possibly be an accurate measurement, it felt as though Optimus was forcing a steel beam into him.
Ratchet bit his lip hard, tasted the approximation of his blood with a distant sense of wonder, caught between pleasure and pain.
"Please," gasped from above and Ratchet opened his eyes, startled and then rapt, watching as Optimus strained above him. Watched as sweat slid down his cheeks, dark hair clinging damply to his face as Optimus held still for long, torturous minutes, the muscles in his arms taut and trembling. "Please, you have to relax," Optimus rasped out as Ratchet watched, "I won't hurt you."
He wouldn't. Optimus would stop first, Ratchet knew, and he raised a hand and cupped it against Optimus's cheek, felt the dampness of sweat against his fingertips. "You won't," he agreed shakily, even as he did a quick web search, found the information he wanted. It was easy enough to lift his legs higher, cross his ankles into the small of Optimus's back and pull.
Optimus cried out, whether in protest or pleasure, Ratchet didn't know, his own breath left him in a rush as he tried to adjust to the sudden deep invasion. Humans did this all the time, he reminded himself fiercely, he could do this, and Optimus was shuddering over him, struggling to remain still and failing. Full, achingly full, and red warnings were throbbing in Ratchet's vision. This wasn't pain as he was accustomed to feeling it and he shifted, trying to relieve that uncomfortable fullness and instead felt a white-hot flare of pleasure, Primus, right there, and he wriggled hard, trying to find that place again.
It seemed that Optimus's control didn't include having his partner squirming beneath him and with a shattered groan, Optimus moved, pulling out a fraction before thrusting in again strongly, and now Ratchet heartily approved of sexual intimacy in extended sensor arrays, would have written a long, heartfelt essay on the subject and submitted it to every Autobot in existence so long as it didn't stop.
He was dimly aware that he was being embarrassingly loud, whimpering and yowling like a fool, and he couldn't spare a fraction of his processor to care. He was well accustomed to interfacing, and it held no more mysteries to him, but it had been a thousand years, longer, since he'd allowed himself to feel an entirely new sensation and it was wonderful, blissful, the heat of his building climax searing along all his senses like a lit energon line.
Dimly, he was aware of clutching at Optimus's shoulders, fingers scrabbling over sweat-slick skin, heard the low, harsh sounds Optimus was making as he pounded into Ratchet and red warnings scrolling across his vision were increasingly urgent, a blaring clamor of alarms that he ignored, he was so close, close, the hot rush of pure, unexpected ecstasy wringing a last cry out of him as he came and his vision went abruptly dark.
When he finally came back to himself, Ratchet's sensors informed him that he'd had an unexpected power shutdown and they recommended a scan to determine if there was an internal conflict that had caused it. Impatiently, Ratchet shoved the warning aside, registering internal soreness as well as a certain aching in the muscles of his legs. Blinking, he found Optimus still above him, propped up on his elbows as he watched Ratchet with deep blue and deeply amused eyes.
"If you tell anyone—" Ratchet rasped out, wincing as he tested this body's capacity for movement.
"I would never," Optimus said solemnly but the amusement in his eyes didn't diminish in the slightest. Ratchet resigned himself to Optimus teasing him in private for some time.
He let Ratchet pull away to lean against the door, although he kept one hand on Ratchet's ankle, stroking the thin skin over the faint bump there. "And was it interesting?" Optimus asked conversationally. "From a researcher's point of view?"
Ratchet didn't look at him, pretended interest in his own hands, watching the metacarpals shift as he clenched and unclenched them. To be honest, he felt unexpectedly shaken and had to resist the urge to pull away from the light touch at his ankle. He wanted to be back in his true form, wanted a chance to process the reams of new data, wanted a chance to rest and he couldn't bring himself to say any of that, certainly not to Optimus
"How did you get so good at that, anyway?" Ratchet asked grumpily, trying to push aside his unease.
Optimus made a soft, amused sound. "Are you asking if I've been faithful?"
The question made him wince, withdrawing even as Optimus's expression changed to one of concern. He really would have preferred to be himself just now; human faces revealed far, far too much and he could only imagine what his own face was showing at just this moment.
"No," Ratchet said, harshly. "No, I am not, as I certainly can't say that I have." To either of them. He'd been betraying Wheeljack with Optimus for some time now and did it even matter if they didn't partner on a permanent basis? He would still have to tell Wheeljack what he had done. Everything that he had done, from choosing to begin this relationship to the very simulated mating that he had refused to do with Wheeljack when he'd asked and he had no idea how he was going to explain that.
The concern softened into something else, something that Ratchet certainly didn't want to see. "Ratchet—"
"I can't do this," Ratchet interrupted, turning sharply away. The words he hadn't been able to say earlier came too easily now, spilling out of him like an oil leak. "I've gone over it from every angle and I can't keep dividing my attention like this. I think we should separate permanently. With so many other Autobots due to be arriving—"
He turned back to look at Prime, his voice dying away and all he could do was look at Optimus. Beyond stricken, every line of his face, his body, spoke of pure devastation that Ratchet would never have seen if he hadn't been in a human form. Lips parted in wordless dismay, as if a denial was hovering just on the edge of being spoken.
Primus, could he have even picked a worse time for this? Ratchet had always been harsh but he wasn't prone to cruelty and he couldn't have imagined a crueler time to say this then while both of them were still thrumming with their shared pleasure, with fabricated sweat drying on their prickling skin.
For the briefest of moments, Optimus looked at him with nothing short of utter grief in his blue eyes and then it was gone. He straightened and abruptly his holo form was again dressed as it had been before. "Of course," he said, with his normal, calm dignity. "As I said, the choice is yours."
"Optimus," Ratchet said, hesitantly, uncertain as to what he planned to say, what he could say. He reached out without thought and Optimus flinched, automatic withdrawal that was just as quickly stifled.
"Don't," Optimus said, the word edged with rawness. "I'm sure you're as exhausted as I am. We should both recharge."
His holo vanished, leaving Ratchet sitting naked in his cab with a glittery dusting of used receptors. "I didn't mean to tell you like this!" Ratchet snapped, burning with frustration, with anger, at himself, at the situation.
No response. Either Optimus was already in recharge or he was pretending in order to avoid any other discussion. Not that Ratchet blamed him in the least.
"Fuck," Ratchet said aloud, the human obscenity seemed more appropriate than any in Cybertronian, even if his current vocal cords could have handled it. "God fucking dammit."
He withdrew his sensory perception back into his true form and left the receptors to die away where they were because the only other option would be do open Optimus's door and climb out, and Ratchet just...he couldn't.
Instead, he drove out of building, shifting his engines to run quieter than any human vehicle could hope to manage, just in case Optimus really was recharging. It was for the best, he reminded himself. It could have gone better if he'd had any sense of tact but in the end, the result would be the same. Optimus would be free to pursue someone more suitable and Ratchet...Ratchet would be able to focus on his work. For the best, he repeated as he headed towards his own quarters.
An urgent priority message stopped him and Ratchet braked silently as he read it. It was from Bumblebee, no specific detail just an earnest request for him to come, and Ratchet spared one longing thought towards a night of unbroken recharge. There was no rest for a medic, though, that was something he'd learned several millennia ago, and he turned around, taking one last moment to shove his current emotional state behind a particularly strong firewall.
He didn't have time for the emotional drama. He really didn't.
-finis-
Read Next Chapter
Author: Keelywolfe
Fandom: Transformers
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s):Optimus/Ratchet
Summary: A continuation of the ‘human’ series, which are in order:
Forms of Life
Too Human
Experiments in Human Nature
Public Education
Knee-Jerk Reaction
Nervous System Hypothesis
Different Applications of Moral Support
This Body Electric
The Unconscious Mind
Subliminal Messages
Greeks Bearing Gifts
In a Dark Ruby Stain
Interruptions in the Key of C
Half to Rise, Half to Fall
Moments of Forgiveness
Topics of Conversation
Lies of Omission
The Theory of Existence
Beyond My Brave Facade
Parental Interaction In The Third Degree
Field Trips Into the Hypothetical
Arrested Developments of the Heart
Necessary Repairs
4x4
Prime and Punishment
Gravitational Drift
Also the AU Attention Getting Device
Notes: Okay, let's start with the warnings! First, if you read the headers, you'll note the only pairing listed is Optimus/Ratchet and that the rating is NC-17. Yeah, sorry about that. Normally, I wouldn't bother to warn for it but this series did start as exclusively Bumblebee/Sam, so I wanted to offer some heads up.
Next, this series is titled the Human Series, so if you're looking for the giant robot sex, it's not here. I think the fanfiction term is 'sticky' porn, which I find endlessly amusing. If that's not the right term, it so should be.
If I were to guess, if anyone out there is just completely HORRIFIED at the thought of reading Optimus/Ratchet, you could probably skip this and just move on to the next chapter when it comes out. I don't think it would be too difficult to figure out what went down. I hope you'll give it a chance, though. If you're like me and big ol' pervert, just enjoy. They will. ;)
~~*~~
Even though he had never been inside Prime's quarters, Ratchet knew exactly where they were. They had always kept their personal relationship confined to the spacious infirmary or, more rarely, Ratchet's cramped quarters. Not that they had ever made an attempt to conceal their relationship; Ratchet was under no illusions that every member in the Autobot army not only knew what they were doing, but probably had various betting pools going on about it. Ironhide had only confirmed his suspicions.
No, he had never met Prime at his quarters for one reason and one reason alone; the polite fiction. If they met at the infirmary or even Ratchet's quarters, they could pretend it was for official reasons. Perhaps Optimus needed repairs or was inquiring about another Autobot's condition. It was certainly possible. But there was really only one reason Ratchet could be venturing into Prime's quarters and even though he was aware of exactly how this looked and that everyone would know within minutes of his first visit here, Ratchet didn't hesitate. This would only take a moment and the knowledge that he and Prime had ended their relationship would spread with equal speed.
Gossip was rampant with Autobot ranks and secrets were difficult to keep.
He didn't bother with anything so human as knocking. Optimus would know he was here and the door opening was an invitation to come inside. To his surprised, Captain Lennox was there as well, sitting on a tiny folding chair while Optimus crouched low on the floor. Both of them looked at him expectantly and Ratchet was at a loss.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were otherwise occupied," Ratchet murmured, already backing towards the door. "This…it's not important. We can discuss it later."
"Nah, it's good," Lennox called up to him with a good-natured grin. "We're about done."
"Yes," Optimus moved with slow grace, rising to his full height and Ratchet thought it was a testament to the Captain's personal strength that his pulse never changed, still as calm as it had been when Ratchet arrived. At least one human wasn't afraid of them. Two, Ratchet allowed. Sam hadn't flinched from them since the day they'd arrived on the planet. The boy had an amazing wealth of personal strength, both for his species and in consideration of what he'd been through in his short life.
"We'll continue this tomorrow when we have more information," Optimus said gravely, his optics on Lennox, who nodded easily.
"Sounds good," he said agreeably. "Get some recharge, you two, big things are going to be happening pretty damned soon." With a quick salute and a knowing look that Ratchet ignored, the human took his leave of them and it was only after the door closed behind him that Optimus turned his gaze to Ratchet, genuine pleasure in his expression.
"I wasn't expecting you," Optimus said, curious but unalarmed. He waited expectantly and Ratchet braced himself for things he needed to say. He had to do this; it was for the best to break things off completely and Optimus might be a little hurt but in the long run it would be better for both of them, for Optimus to be free to find someone more able to give him the relationship he desired.
But when Ratchet opened his mouth he found he couldn't say a word. He ran a quick diagnostic on his vocal processors and found they were fine. He was just strangely reluctant to speak.
Not afraid, of course not. The repercussions of breaking things off would be minimal; Optimus would accept it with the same calm equanimity that he always did because that was who he was, he was their Prime and he would accept any decision Ratchet made, whatever that decision was and he would never treat Ratchet any differently.
They had been friends before they had indulged in any intimacy and they would be friends again, and Optimus would never hold it against him. Ratchet knew that.
And he knew that Optimus would never let anyone know just how badly it hurt him.
Optimus had asked him for whatever he was willing to give.
Perhaps...perhaps he could be just a little more willing. Just a little. He didn't have to break things off right now, Optimus had suggested he take time to consider it. Perhaps it would be best to wait until there were more Autobots on Earth so that Optimus could easily find another to console himself with. Ironhide had been right about that much. Now that they were planning on remaining planetside for the foreseeable future, Optimus could use a good partner.
There was a human phrase, that it was useless to shut the barn door after their livestock had escaped and Ratchet thought the term applied here. He and Optimus had already interfaced. He supposed little harm would result if they simply maintained that for a little time yet. But that was all they would be.
Optimus was nothing at all like Wheeljack for one thing. Dignified where Wheeljack had been enthusiastic, calm where Wheeljack had been near manic, overloading on ideas and concepts, caught in a web of his own brilliance to the point that Ratchet had occasionally forced a medical recharge on him just to keep him from burning out. Cautious where Wheeljack had been anything but.
The only thing they had in common was that brilliant charisma, both of them had in their core the ability to make others take insane chances, whether it was on experiments or in battle made little difference. Any one of them, including Ratchet, would die for Optimus; not because he was their leader, nor because he was their Prime. Simply because he was Optimus.
No, they weren't suited to be partners. It would be better to remain friends with benefits, to borrow another human turn of phrase.
Ratchet found himself speaking before he even realized he had formulated the words. "You said you wanted to touch me?"
Not at all what he'd meant to say but he couldn't retract the words after seeing Optimus visibly brighten, stepping in close. With an internal sigh, Ratchet resigned himself to it. They were both older than human civilization but Optimus engaged in intimacy with the enthusiasm of one who'd only just discovered his pleasurable interfacing software. He did have to admit, that kind of enthusiasm was easy to appreciate. At least it didn't result in any explosions.
Optimus was considerably larger than him but instead of frightening, it was soothing, to be held so firmly in arms that could easily crush him, large fingertips tracing down his back, running delicately along the smooth lines of his armor.
"I still don't see the appeal," Ratchet muttered grouchily, resting his head against the heavy armor of Optimus's chest.
A soft sound of amusement vibrated close to his auditory sensor. "We are not particularly designed for touch sensitivity. But humans are."
A mech with no language coding could understand the implication in that. "You want to have intercourse in a sensor array?" Ratchet pulled back enough to look at him, nearly vibrating with indignant protest, "I am not a simi!"
"Of course not," Optimus soothed, his touches deliberately gentle. "I said no such thing."
"You didn't have to, you pervert," Ratchet muttered. Pervert wouldn't have been his chosen word but the Cybertronian one he would have preferred would definitely have ruined the mood that was coalescing between them. Instead, he simply sighed, leaning just a little into those soft touches. "You're trying to take advantage of my good nature."
The rumble of laughter was not unexpected. "I sincerely doubt anyone could take advantage of you." Wisely, he refrained from commenting about Ratchet's nature, good or otherwise.
You have no idea, Ratchet thought, but he didn't say it aloud.
Wheeljack had been in simi relationship once, before he'd bonded to Ratchet, and he'd shown Ratchet everything he'd learned from it, terabytes of date to process. He'd loved the touching, the sticky mess of organics. Ratchet had been fascinated by the process, still was truth to be told, but he wasn't an organic and didn't care to replicate it. Wheeljack hadn't pressed the issue, even once, and with a jolt of unexpected grief, Ratchet abruptly regretted that.
Again, without consulting him, and he really needed to run a long diagnostic, his vocalizers spoke, "Let me go, then, and we'll try it. At the very least it would be interesting from a researcher's point of view."
He had shocked Optimus, Ratchet noted with amusement. Obviously, Optimus had only been teasing and had probably expected a barbed refusal. That didn't stop him from stepping back with near clumsy eagerness, practically bouncing on his toes like a sparkling as he waited impatiently for Ratchet to form an extended sensor array. If only the others could see Optimus squirming like a youngling in his first interface. He doubted there was any other mech still alive who had seen Optimus the way Ratchet had.
Ratchet kept his sighs internal as he formed a holo, as the humans called it, of the stout, older man that he had created to assist in his duties. The lighted shine had barely dissolved before Optimus was frowning and Ratchet hadn't shifted his sensory perceptions into it yet, left it standing like a mute doll as he scowled at Optimus.
"What's wrong?" Ratchet asked impatiently.
"Why do you still have this sensor array?" Optimus asked, with genuine confusion. "You told me before that it's uncomfortable and you dislike it."
"That's true," Ratchet said, shrugging. "I'm getting used to it."
"No amount of use will ever make this form comfortable for you," Optimus countered. "You set your parameters to the humans expectations of you rather than matching them to your own internal schematics. You're a medic, you know this."
"And you know that having to deal with the panicked humans during a medical procedure is difficult enough without having them terrified of me!" Ratchet snapped.
"Yes, their expectations are important," Optimus said agreeably, "which is why I rarely use mine. The humans expect me to be in my natural form or more rarely, my alternate vehicle form and that is what I maintain for them. But I am not human and their fear doesn't mean you can't have an alternate form that is comfortable right now."
"I suppose," Ratchet allowed, warily. He had a bad feeling that he knew exactly where Optimus was going with this.
"Let me show you my interpretation?" A small smile. "I've seen your internals enough times to generate an idea."
"Oh, all right!" Ratchet grumbled. This time he did extend his sensors into the form, taking the time to transform and back away first. Opening his eyes was disorienting and he steadied himself before he walked over to Optimus, a little shakily. Looking up at Optimus from a human vantage was like looking on Primus himself, terrifyingly large, if he had actually been terrified. It wasn't as if Optimus could, or would, hurt him and Ratchet had no fears.
One large finger touched him and he allowed Optimus access, changed the form as per Optimus's coding, adjusting the dimensions and coloring into whatever it was that Optimus had decided was suitable for him.
Ratchet grudgingly agreed that it was a better fit. An unsuitable holographic rendering was uncomfortable to inhabit, to say the least, and this one suited his mental schematics to a much better degree than the one he had created.
Reaching up, Ratchet lightly touched his face. He had never installed human sensory patterns, although Optimus had given him the file some time ago. He could sense pressure and temperature, the minute changes between them because he needed it when he treated the soldiers but he hadn't bothered with anything past that.
"Here." Optimus transformed with a low clatter of shifting metal, sliding easily into the shape of a large truck and he tipped a side mirror obligingly.
Carefully, Ratchet stepped up on the side rail to look in Optimus's side mirror. Light brown hair, just long enough to brush against his new ears. Pale hazel eyes looked out from behind the small, round lenses of a pair of glasses. He touched them bemusedly. Well, he supposed this said something about Optimus's tastes, not to mention his own internals, considering how comfortably his perceptions slid into this form.
And young! Primus, barely older than Bumblebee. Another face appeared next to his own in the mirror and Ratchet frowned at it, and that frown was purely his own.
"You are aware that I can't use this," he said amused. "The soldiers are expecting a gruff old army surgeon to treat them, not Doogie Howser."
"I'm sure you're right." Hands lightly rested on his hips, faint pressure. Optimus had black hair, deep black that hung just past his shoulders and searingly blue eyes. His form was young as well but at least it was older than Ratchet's. "Add the sensory perception."
"Fine," he sighed. It took a moment to unpack the file and integrate it into his receptors. Now he could feel the hands touching him and took a breath he didn't need, let it out slowly. He had never done this but he'd sifted through Wheeljack's files and knew that species' specifications very well. Humans were obviously more sensitive to physical sensation.
He turned to look at Optimus but his diagnostics hadn't caught up with his changed dimensions and he promptly hit his head on the mirror, hard enough that an error message flashed in his vision. Ratchet cursed loudly although his false human larynx wasn't quite capable of the harsh syllables of Cybertronian. The first sensation he'd wanted to feel in his form was not pain.
"Careful." Optimus's fingers were gentle as they sifted through his hair, rubbing the painful spot soothingly.
"Well, this is certainly fun," Ratchet said scathingly, still smarting from the unexpected pain.
"Come on," Optimus caught him by the hand and coaxed him forward as his side door swung open invitingly. With only a little reluctance, Ratchet allowed Optimus to push him up into the cab, the seat obligingly sliding back and leaving them plenty of room.
"In the front seat? How quaint." Ratchet said dryly, lying back on the wide bench.
"I've been assured that this is a well-established human tradition." Optimus followed, bracing himself over Ratchet on his elbows. It did feel good, Ratchet admitted, grudgingly. Optimus's weight was a comfortable pressure against him and their heights were close enough in this form to match their bodies closely, chest to chest and hips to hips.
Ratchet looked up at him warily, still not completely convinced but if Optimus wanted this, he could at least try it once. "When a human, do as the humans do?"
"Something like that," Optimus said agreeably and then his patience seemed to be at an end as he finally silenced Ratchet with his own mouth. Wet, shockingly wet, the alien sensation of a tongue pressing against his lips and Ratchet opened to it uncertainly. He knew how to do this, data-wise; humans had terabytes of information available about the proper way to engage in their sexual acts and Ratchet had gone through them with clinical interest. He'd never thought to actually use that information.
It did feel good, he decided, allowed Optimus to deepen the kiss, the light flick of a tongue against his own was not unpleasant. A faint sound of appreciation from Optimus was enough for Ratchet to tip his head up into the kiss and attempt to reciprocate, moved his own tongue against Optimus's in what he hope was a pleasing manner. If Optimus wanted to try this, just once, he supposed it wouldn't be too great a sacrifice. At least he could trust Optimus not to share a video file of it.
Optimus broke the kiss, nuzzling at Ratchet's chin and he obediently tipped his head to the side, let Optimus lick a damp path to his ear and stimulate the nerves of the delicate lobe.
This was...different than their other shared moments of intimacy, and not just because they were in a human form. While he might tease and flirt, Optimus had always been generally content to let Ratchet take the lead in the intimate encounters. Even their first interfacing, Ratchet had gone to him, a little desperate and lonely and wanting, and he'd given Ratchet everything he'd been craving and more. Perhaps it was a relief to let someone else take charge of some aspect of his life and Ratchet had had no difficulty in taking everything Optimus offered.
Interfacing with another mech was an internal act, a sharing of pleasure through their processors in order to induce overload. It was extremely pleasurable in a way he couldn't explain to organic species and he wasn't particularly surprised to find that the human sexual act didn't compare. Oh, it was pleasant enough but it was nothing as delightful as a--
"Oh!" he huffed out, surprised at the bright flash of pleasure as Optimus pressed a leg between his own, the hard pressure of his thigh against his groin. Ah, yes, human males did have a large amount of nerve ending in their genital area. Experimentally, he arched his hips up towards that pressure and was rewarded with another burst of pleasure. Rhythmic pressure, Ratchet recalled, a little hazily, that was how humans achieved climax.
He might have continued like that, content to rub against Optimus's thigh but his partner in Autobot perversion wasn't cooperating. He was, in fact, pulling away, pushing Ratchet's shirt up until he found bare skin to stroke with light, teasing touches.
Ratchet started to protest before he even considered exactly what he was protesting and stifled it quickly. This was supposed to be for Optimus and he couldn't even keep from making demands for a few minutes? Far from displeased, Optimus only chuckled softly, the gust of his breath against Ratchet's skin making him shiver even as Optimus edged lower, the damp touch of his tongue skimming just above the barrier of his jeans.
"Get rid of these," Optimus murmured, a touch impatiently, and Ratchet did with vague amusement. Apparently pretending to be human didn't extend to removing clothing like one. It was a relief to have the constricting material gone, his erection springing free and he barely had time to sigh before Optimus slid lower, pressing the wet heat of his mouth against the newly exposed skin.
"Ah!" Ratchet cried out, shamefully close to a wail but he didn't have a chance to consider his own embarrassment. Not with Optimus mouthing him, licking softly and when his mouth finally closed around him, sucking Ratchet's very good approximation of a human cock into his equally well-made mouth, Ratchet very nearly screamed, sinking his hands into the heavy softness of Optimus's hair to hold him there.
He might have been analyzing the sensation, calculating sensation versus pressure, slickness and temperature, engaging in the research he'd considered before. He might have, if he hadn't been busy whimpering and squirming between Optimus and the seat, his fingers clenched tightly enough into Optimus's hair that he could feel strands of it breaking in his grip. All his senses were swamped with the wet suction surrounding him, with pushing up into it even as Optimus obligingly took him deeper, let Ratchet manhandle him as he awkwardly thrust up, trying to get more, please, just a little more--
He cursed loudly when Optimus abruptly released him, the cold air on his wet skin an unpleasant shock and for a moment, his fingers refused to loosen their grip on Optimus's hair, even when strong hands circled his wrists and gently urged him to let go.
"Shh, it's all right," Optimus soothed, crawling up to press his swollen, too-hot lips against Ratchet's in a tender kiss and if he was amused when Ratchet lurched up and clung to him, turning it into a much fiercer press of lips and tongue, he kept it to himself. "It's all right," he repeated, whispering into Ratchet's eager mouth, "You'll like this, too."
More pressure, and Ratchet was abruptly aware that Optimus was naked against him, his fingers slick between his legs and lower, pressing lightly against his backside. Yes, he'd read about this as well and Ratchet forced himself to obey the data he recalled and relaxed, even though his encoded human reflexes insisted that now was a perfect time to tense up. To his human senses this felt strange/uncomfortable/erotic and he tried to ignore it all and simply relax. Even if it was uncomfortable, possibly painful, it couldn't cause him actual damage, not to a sensor array.
Optimus seemed satisfied with his preparation and pulled his fingers free, shifting his hands to Ratchet's thighs as he pushed them up, positioning him and Ratchet obeyed willingly enough. Pressure against him again, larger and hotter, and Ratchet couldn't hold back a hiss of discomfort, struggling to stay relaxed. The discomfort increased and he closed his eyes but he couldn't turn the pain off. Bumblebee had designed this programming with his usual skill and he disdained anything other than true human sensory input, had set it as an if/then conditional construct. If you were using it, then you would feel everything, no exceptions.
"Easy, relax," Crooned softly against his auditory sensor, no, his ear, he was in a human form. "This isn't supposed to hurt."
"I'm fine," Ratchet gritted out. He kept his eyes closed.
A soft sigh. "Of course you are."
He felt Optimus shift slightly and couldn't stop a soft whimper. It shifted into a startled moan when a large, warm hand circled his still-damp erection, stroking him with a quick, tight grip. Ratchet moaned aloud, helplessly; it was strange, it was almost frightening to have his processors interpret a touch as so incredibly pleasurable and yet, he didn't want it to stop.
They weren't the holograms that humans interpreted them as, not a hollow, shallow form of light. Instead they were built as layer upon layer of receptors into a perfect replica of a human being with nervous systems that felt pain and pleasure, and muscles that could ache and clench, refusing entry into a newly created body. Muscles that slowly relaxed and gave, and Ratchet yelped aloud as Optimus sank a bare inch into him. Primus, he felt huge, even as his sensors sent him a quick blurt of body dimensions that Ratchet hadn't seen with his own eyes. It couldn't possibly be an accurate measurement, it felt as though Optimus was forcing a steel beam into him.
Ratchet bit his lip hard, tasted the approximation of his blood with a distant sense of wonder, caught between pleasure and pain.
"Please," gasped from above and Ratchet opened his eyes, startled and then rapt, watching as Optimus strained above him. Watched as sweat slid down his cheeks, dark hair clinging damply to his face as Optimus held still for long, torturous minutes, the muscles in his arms taut and trembling. "Please, you have to relax," Optimus rasped out as Ratchet watched, "I won't hurt you."
He wouldn't. Optimus would stop first, Ratchet knew, and he raised a hand and cupped it against Optimus's cheek, felt the dampness of sweat against his fingertips. "You won't," he agreed shakily, even as he did a quick web search, found the information he wanted. It was easy enough to lift his legs higher, cross his ankles into the small of Optimus's back and pull.
Optimus cried out, whether in protest or pleasure, Ratchet didn't know, his own breath left him in a rush as he tried to adjust to the sudden deep invasion. Humans did this all the time, he reminded himself fiercely, he could do this, and Optimus was shuddering over him, struggling to remain still and failing. Full, achingly full, and red warnings were throbbing in Ratchet's vision. This wasn't pain as he was accustomed to feeling it and he shifted, trying to relieve that uncomfortable fullness and instead felt a white-hot flare of pleasure, Primus, right there, and he wriggled hard, trying to find that place again.
It seemed that Optimus's control didn't include having his partner squirming beneath him and with a shattered groan, Optimus moved, pulling out a fraction before thrusting in again strongly, and now Ratchet heartily approved of sexual intimacy in extended sensor arrays, would have written a long, heartfelt essay on the subject and submitted it to every Autobot in existence so long as it didn't stop.
He was dimly aware that he was being embarrassingly loud, whimpering and yowling like a fool, and he couldn't spare a fraction of his processor to care. He was well accustomed to interfacing, and it held no more mysteries to him, but it had been a thousand years, longer, since he'd allowed himself to feel an entirely new sensation and it was wonderful, blissful, the heat of his building climax searing along all his senses like a lit energon line.
Dimly, he was aware of clutching at Optimus's shoulders, fingers scrabbling over sweat-slick skin, heard the low, harsh sounds Optimus was making as he pounded into Ratchet and red warnings scrolling across his vision were increasingly urgent, a blaring clamor of alarms that he ignored, he was so close, close, the hot rush of pure, unexpected ecstasy wringing a last cry out of him as he came and his vision went abruptly dark.
When he finally came back to himself, Ratchet's sensors informed him that he'd had an unexpected power shutdown and they recommended a scan to determine if there was an internal conflict that had caused it. Impatiently, Ratchet shoved the warning aside, registering internal soreness as well as a certain aching in the muscles of his legs. Blinking, he found Optimus still above him, propped up on his elbows as he watched Ratchet with deep blue and deeply amused eyes.
"If you tell anyone—" Ratchet rasped out, wincing as he tested this body's capacity for movement.
"I would never," Optimus said solemnly but the amusement in his eyes didn't diminish in the slightest. Ratchet resigned himself to Optimus teasing him in private for some time.
He let Ratchet pull away to lean against the door, although he kept one hand on Ratchet's ankle, stroking the thin skin over the faint bump there. "And was it interesting?" Optimus asked conversationally. "From a researcher's point of view?"
Ratchet didn't look at him, pretended interest in his own hands, watching the metacarpals shift as he clenched and unclenched them. To be honest, he felt unexpectedly shaken and had to resist the urge to pull away from the light touch at his ankle. He wanted to be back in his true form, wanted a chance to process the reams of new data, wanted a chance to rest and he couldn't bring himself to say any of that, certainly not to Optimus
"How did you get so good at that, anyway?" Ratchet asked grumpily, trying to push aside his unease.
Optimus made a soft, amused sound. "Are you asking if I've been faithful?"
The question made him wince, withdrawing even as Optimus's expression changed to one of concern. He really would have preferred to be himself just now; human faces revealed far, far too much and he could only imagine what his own face was showing at just this moment.
"No," Ratchet said, harshly. "No, I am not, as I certainly can't say that I have." To either of them. He'd been betraying Wheeljack with Optimus for some time now and did it even matter if they didn't partner on a permanent basis? He would still have to tell Wheeljack what he had done. Everything that he had done, from choosing to begin this relationship to the very simulated mating that he had refused to do with Wheeljack when he'd asked and he had no idea how he was going to explain that.
The concern softened into something else, something that Ratchet certainly didn't want to see. "Ratchet—"
"I can't do this," Ratchet interrupted, turning sharply away. The words he hadn't been able to say earlier came too easily now, spilling out of him like an oil leak. "I've gone over it from every angle and I can't keep dividing my attention like this. I think we should separate permanently. With so many other Autobots due to be arriving—"
He turned back to look at Prime, his voice dying away and all he could do was look at Optimus. Beyond stricken, every line of his face, his body, spoke of pure devastation that Ratchet would never have seen if he hadn't been in a human form. Lips parted in wordless dismay, as if a denial was hovering just on the edge of being spoken.
Primus, could he have even picked a worse time for this? Ratchet had always been harsh but he wasn't prone to cruelty and he couldn't have imagined a crueler time to say this then while both of them were still thrumming with their shared pleasure, with fabricated sweat drying on their prickling skin.
For the briefest of moments, Optimus looked at him with nothing short of utter grief in his blue eyes and then it was gone. He straightened and abruptly his holo form was again dressed as it had been before. "Of course," he said, with his normal, calm dignity. "As I said, the choice is yours."
"Optimus," Ratchet said, hesitantly, uncertain as to what he planned to say, what he could say. He reached out without thought and Optimus flinched, automatic withdrawal that was just as quickly stifled.
"Don't," Optimus said, the word edged with rawness. "I'm sure you're as exhausted as I am. We should both recharge."
His holo vanished, leaving Ratchet sitting naked in his cab with a glittery dusting of used receptors. "I didn't mean to tell you like this!" Ratchet snapped, burning with frustration, with anger, at himself, at the situation.
No response. Either Optimus was already in recharge or he was pretending in order to avoid any other discussion. Not that Ratchet blamed him in the least.
"Fuck," Ratchet said aloud, the human obscenity seemed more appropriate than any in Cybertronian, even if his current vocal cords could have handled it. "God fucking dammit."
He withdrew his sensory perception back into his true form and left the receptors to die away where they were because the only other option would be do open Optimus's door and climb out, and Ratchet just...he couldn't.
Instead, he drove out of building, shifting his engines to run quieter than any human vehicle could hope to manage, just in case Optimus really was recharging. It was for the best, he reminded himself. It could have gone better if he'd had any sense of tact but in the end, the result would be the same. Optimus would be free to pursue someone more suitable and Ratchet...Ratchet would be able to focus on his work. For the best, he repeated as he headed towards his own quarters.
An urgent priority message stopped him and Ratchet braked silently as he read it. It was from Bumblebee, no specific detail just an earnest request for him to come, and Ratchet spared one longing thought towards a night of unbroken recharge. There was no rest for a medic, though, that was something he'd learned several millennia ago, and he turned around, taking one last moment to shove his current emotional state behind a particularly strong firewall.
He didn't have time for the emotional drama. He really didn't.
-finis-
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![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2010-09-09 01:58 am (UTC)I mentioned a threesome, yes? Yes. Threesome.
...failing that, some kind of way for Ratchet's grieving to finally finish processing and allow him to move on.
Writing-wise? Holy fuck that was so hot! I'lllllll be in my bunk.
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Date: 2010-09-24 12:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-09 02:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-24 12:54 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2010-09-09 03:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-24 12:55 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2010-09-24 12:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-09 05:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-24 12:57 am (UTC)Thank you for reading!
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Date: 2010-09-10 10:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-24 12:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-11 01:35 am (UTC)I want to pester you about working on this! I want to be emotionally invested in your characters even further than I am. I want to watch the Autobots learn from these short-lifed humans what they may have not known in the many-thousand years they've lived. In short, I want you to keep going!
*worships*
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Date: 2010-09-24 12:58 am (UTC)I'll certainly keep going for a little while, these poor 'bots have enough issues to resolve... :)
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Date: 2010-09-11 11:08 am (UTC)Thank you.♥♥♥
*Gone to read everything from the ch 1. Again =))*
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Date: 2010-09-24 12:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-16 10:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-19 10:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-24 04:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-24 09:15 am (UTC)Ratchet will always object.XD
But between Optimus and Wheeljack if the ocasion presents itself they will convince him.
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Date: 2010-09-19 05:05 pm (UTC)Very hot and then very sad. I'm rather confused in myself...
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Date: 2010-09-24 12:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-24 09:27 am (UTC)And I'm a sucker for Happy endings. Ratchet, you bad, bad bot, how could you hurt Optimus like that and after he showed you holo!sex
*pouts*
Me wants Opie to be happy, Preferably with Ratchet.
And the sticky porn is when robots are still in his robot forms but have equivalents of human sex organs, aka robo-cok(usualy called spike), robo-vag(valve) etc along with lots of various fluids (that's why it's sticky)
holo-sex is more apropriate for your series ^^
no subject
Date: 2010-10-10 09:13 pm (UTC)Thank you so much!
And the sticky porn is when robots are still in his robot forms but have equivalents of human sex organs, aka robo-cok(usualy called spike), robo-vag(valve) etc along with lots of various fluids (that's why it's sticky)
I think the laugh I got out of the term 'robo-vag' has soothed my disappointment over not getting to use the term sticky porn. *G*
no subject
Date: 2010-09-25 05:43 pm (UTC)This was a fantastic, hot, heartbreaking chapter. I cried at Ratchet's distress and confusion, and laughed out loud (scared the cat!) at this bit:
and now Ratchet heartily approved of sexual intimacy in extended sensor arrays, would have written a long, heartfelt essay on the subject and submitted it to every Autobot in existence so long as it didn't stop.
The ending was, of course, pure heartbreak for them both. I do hope that they work things out (that Ratchet gets the giant I-beam out of his aft), but not too quickly. ;)
And I hope that Ratchet keeps the new holo. *g*
Thank you for the wonderful, Ratchet-y chapter.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-10 09:14 pm (UTC)I confirm or deny nothing! But I like it, too. ;) I like the idea of him wearing little glasses, being all sexy-nerd. *G*
no subject
Date: 2010-11-06 04:33 am (UTC)Oh...and this line did me in with awesomeness:
"and now Ratchet heartily approved of sexual intimacy in extended sensor arrays, would have written a long, heartfelt essay on the subject and submitted it to every Autobot in existence so long as it didn't stop."
no subject
Date: 2011-01-02 02:52 am (UTC)