In which I nearly freaking died

[keelywolfe]

You know,I work in a male dominated field. I am a sci-fi and horror buff. I collect transformers and I did it BEFORE I slashed them.



So my kids were playing outside and whining that they were bored and I decided to put up a play tent for them. Went out in the garage to grab it from the neatly wadded up heap it was in and when I picked it up, something large moved on its own. it's pretty dark in there so my brain immediately went with this option:

OH MY FUCKING GOD SOMETHING HUGE JUST MOVED, RUN, RUN, FORGET THE KIDS AND SAVE YOURSELF!!!!

I did manage push aside the adrenaline enough to save my children and promptly went inside to inform my husband he needed to do his manly duty and kill whatever it was that scared me half to freaking death. It was obviously some hideous mutation hiding out in my garage, just waiting to consume human flesh. Reluctantly, he pulled himself away from his computer to check out my death beast.

What did he find? A frog. A large, slimy frog.

I maintain that the death beast fled after I screamed.

Comments

[xcorpusdelictix.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry...I couldn't help it. I laughed. Hard.

[zortified.livejournal.com]

I scream like a girl whenever I encounter a spider in my home. And then I make zortwife kill it.

[damoyre.livejournal.com]

You gals would DIE if you ever had to visit my in-laws.

The ranch in Ireland is a little too 'country' for me, but I can handle it. BUT... they're catholic missionaries, stationed in Belize. (AKA: HELLHOLE)

The last time I was there, I found a frog on my bed, a lizzard running around my bedroom, HUGE scary looking insects in the bathroom, and the biggest tarantula, just chilling on the ledge of the kitchen window, near the sink.

Needless to say, I'd prefer to NEVER go back. Ever.

[wynddancer.livejournal.com]

faint voice: OMG, I think Belize is definitely off my vacation list. Reptiles (non-poisonous ones) I can handle but: A tarantula in the house?! Bathroom insects?! No. Just. No.

[mrasaki.livejournal.com]

manliness has NOTHING to do with wildlife. *shudders*

My hubby totally bailed on me the time I found a brown frog living in the toilet of some relatives who lived out in the countryside. Haha!

[reginagiraffe]

Hey, you're fighting tens of thousands of years of evolution. And you managed to save the kids. *g*

Congratulations! You are an evolutionary success!

[suaine.livejournal.com]

I can deal with all sorts of wildlife unless it's a spider. Spiders are freaking me the fuck out - although, lately they're triggering more of the fight and less of the flight reflex.

[ashacrone.livejournal.com]

I've had spiders drop on my head. I've had mice and lizards climb up me and get bitten by all manner of odd insects. I'd probably have jumped and done the same thing.
Of course I've also had frogs climb up in my bed. But my lamp was on, so I could see it clearly.

[tiamat-the-red.livejournal.com]

Things that twitch in the dark send me into screaming hysterics. Sadly, I still have to deal with them. For the record, frogs make my flesh creep so that would have been one of those "Find something with a REALLY long handle or try to con Possum into getting it, not that he'd be capble of helping" instances.

[franciskerst.livejournal.com]

Coucou! Here I am!

[seki-raku.livejournal.com]

Big bugs. Big freaking bugs like roaches totally turn me in to a helpless girl whining for a guy to come and kill the scary thing.

Sad.

[aewnaur.livejournal.com]

i have come totally out of my shirt in the middle of Wal-Mart when a bug flew down my shirt.. NO freakin lie!! i refuse to stick my hand down in a bowl of popcorn in the theater.. i buy it by the bag and rip the top as we eat.. i will not stick my hand down in a bag of potato chips.. i will not look up after getting in the shower but i will also no close my eyes.. my friend in highschool made me watch arachniphobia or whatever that damn spider movie was called.. oh yeah .. i developed All Kinds of stupid peeves because of that show.. !! lol.. so yeah.. that damn death monster skittered away while you were saving the children.. i have no doubts.. if you had stayed the monster would have eaten you and your husband.. nodnod.. i believe in you.. nodnod..

[keelywolfe.livejournal.com]

that damn death monster skittered away while you were saving the children.. i have no doubts.. if you had stayed the monster would have eaten you and your husband.. nodnod.. i believe in you.. nodnod..

Obviously! I save us all by scaring it away, oh, yes.

[byakkodan-slash.livejournal.com]

I am assuming that when you say you acted like a girl, you mean you acted childish and not that it is a female trait to scream and run from critters.

[revenantrose.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, you could have been totally justified. We had possums living in our garage--twice. Once there was one making a home in an old unused cardboard box and I discovered it staring up at me when I was organizing the mess in there. I think I made it to the backyard before I realized nothing was chasing me.

Next time I heard something behind all the Christmas boxes and I painstakingly removed them all to discover another big possum, only this time it had made a hole in the wall where it was keeping five of its babies (who were actually pretty cute). At the time, though, when I pulled away this huge piece of wood and looked up and saw many many eyes staring at me I nearly fell over.

[keelywolfe.livejournal.com]

I never would have made it out alive. I would have seen those eyes and just died right there, I swear. Killed by possums. *G*

[moonenamoured.livejournal.com]

Frogs, lizards, possums, I love them all. But bugs, now that's a TOTALLY different story. If a large bug is on a door or even remotely near a door I won't go through it, I don't care what I was in the process of doing. And cockroaches? I lose my shit completely if I find a roach in my house. Just thinking about it has made me paranoid enough to take my feet up off the floor. Point being, don't feel bad, I can only hope I'd have the forethought to remember the children.

[keelywolfe.livejournal.com]

Point being, don't feel bad, I can only hope I'd have the forethought to remember the children.

I've put so much work into them, I'd hate to have to start from scratch. ;)

[damoyre.livejournal.com]

OH MY FUCKING GOD SOMETHING HUGE JUST MOVED, RUN, RUN, FORGET THE KIDS AND SAVE YOURSELF!!!!


LOL!!! That would be my first thought. Of course, I'd end up doing the same, and saving my kids.... Really!

I hate slimy, crawly death beasts critters.

[shalom]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I am afraid of almost nothing living, EXCEPT large, fast spiders. When I work at home, I SWEAR they stalk me. So I trap them in glasses placed upside-down and there they await Mr. HEL returning to relocate them to the great outdoors.

[wynddancer.livejournal.com]

I must admit to laughing. I'm sorry. It reminded of when a secretary at work was freaked out by a rat in her wastebasket (lined with a big trash liner) and there were no guys around to help her. So, I grabbed up the liner, twisted it shut, and threw it in the outside dumpster. My doing that freaked her out even more. Heh.

It's spiders that freak me out. Nothin' should have that many eyes and that many legs in one thing. Gah. Below a certain size, I can kill them but over?! Uh-uh. I must have help. I did hairspray one to death one time--I just kept spraying him/it with hairspray and it stopped moving. Pathetic, I know. But it worked! :-D

[cydienne.livejournal.com]

Similar thing hapened to me too- there was monster in my attic. A sparrow.

[icemonsters.livejournal.com]

I had a dream that this weird non-cockroach-looking thing came up to me and I shrieked, like, three times at the thing.