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keelywolfeAll That We See Or Seem
By Keelywolfe
Sokka/Zuko
R
Sixteenth in a series:
No Turning Back
Division of Time
Conflicted
Manly Pursuits
Interlude: Aang
Say Anything
Interlude, Suki
Random Curiosity
Envy Was A Fever
Couldn't Drag Me Away
For the Love of Cheese
Interlude, Toph
As Easy As Breathing
Interlude, Iroh
Stealing Darkness
Summary: Set during the last episode. The Fire Lord is defeated and Sokka is looking for someone.
~~*~~
It didn't feel like Aang had expected. All his life he'd been told about this great power that he possessed and even when he'd learned the other elements, coaxed them to his will, it hadn't felt quite the same as Airbending. Not wrong, exactly, but not quite as natural. He had to reach deeper for each of them, Earthbending especially, had to pull it from his center, from that place inside himself that wasn't Aang, but the Avatar.
There had been a bare handful of time that it had all felt perfectly aligned within himself and that had been those times he'd gone unwillingly into the Avatar state. He'd felt the power then, the perfection, but he hadn't been able to hold onto it, the feeling slipping away from him like sand through his fingers. Or water.
Now he could feel it, humming softly just outside of his consciousness and knew that when he drew on it , it would come. That perfection was his and he could use it when he needed it, felt the bell-like sweetness of the elements in harmony inside himself.
A pained moan drew his attention and Aang turned back to the defeated Fire Lord lying weakly on the ground. It was strange to see him like this, so close that Aang could nudge him with the toe of his boot. Over the past year he'd gotten an idea of the Fire Lord lodged in his head, a little dream image that haunted him from time to time, and now seeing him, actually seeing him, that nightmare smeared image was fading and he could see that the Fire Lord...that Ozai was just a man. He was younger than Aang had expected; the lines at the corners of his eyes still faint, his body unbent by years gone by.
If he looked at him objectively he could see that the man was even sort of attractive, for an old guy.
Aang realized with a start that Zuko looked a lot like his father.
One of the airships coasted closer, the docking plank drawing out to rest on the stone butt and he turned towards it eagerly, watching Toph and Suki help a limping Sokka down the plank. He had one leg bandaged tightly with a ragged length of cloth but no one else seemed to have as much as a bruise. Aang grinned at them all, barely restraining himself from throwing himself at them except that Sokka looked like he was barely teetering on his feet as it was and falling off the rock into the canyon now wouldn't be a good thing.
They'd won, he was coming to realize, the reality of it settling in. They'd won and come out alive! They'd actually done it and if there was ever a time to celebrate, it had to be now. He waited eagerly for the joke that he knew Sokka would toss out, the glee, because Sokka was the plan guy, the meat and sarcasm, he was the humor guy, the glue that had held their ragtag little team together.
His smile faltered when the jokes didn't come, when Sokka limped closer to the man lying pathetically defeated in the dirt. He stared at Ozai coldly and Aang watched in silence as Sokka spat on him and turned away, turning his back to their fallen enemy.
The grin that lit Sokka's face sent the smoldering ashes of his joy alight again, and here was the glee he'd been waiting for. "You should have seen yourself!" Sokka yelled, tottering on one leg as he flailed his arms. "It was amazing! You were like, byoooo!" He waved his hands madly in something that could have been a firebending form if the firebender really had to go to the bathroom.
He relaxed happily into Sokka's crazy monologue, reaching up to scratch Momo's ears when the slight weight of the lemur settled on his shoulder. If this was what he'd saved the world for, so that nutty Water Tribesmen had a place in it, he'd call that good enough.
~*~
The main plaza in the palace was already crowded with people, brimming with victory as they stood on soil that wasn't so much conquered as returned to the rightful heir. Aang had already been escorted out and much as Sokka had been wary of letting him go with an honor guard made up of fire nation nationals, well, like he could have stopped them, anyway. Besides, Aang was more than a match for anything the 'C' students of firebending had to throw at him.
He'd been a lot less wary of the very nice physician who'd been quickly summoned to look at his leg. One teacup of a particularly foul tasting brew and Sokka would have been happy to let Momo set his leg. He'd flopped back and let the guy do his thing, singing a dirty little Earth Kingdom song that Toph had taught him one night. He didn't quite understand it all but he was sure he knew what shove your hard rock into my moist cave stood for.
Pretty sure, anyway.
They'd made him stay until the rainbow shine at the edges of his vision had faded somewhat, the doctor guy handing him a crutch firmly before grumbling off to take care of some of the other wounded.
"Thanks, doctor guy!" Sokka called after him happily, shuffling to his feet and into the crowd. There were people to be found and while he knew Katara and Zuko were alive and stuff, and yeah, their welcome here might have been a little less doctorly and a little more jailer-ly if they hadn't, Sokka kinda wanted to see them with his own eyes, hug them with his own arms. Tight.
He slowly made his way through the crowd, searching for a splash of blue since there still seemed to be an overabundance of red just yet. It was a little rough going; every once in a while he'd forget and put weight on his bad leg and a shot of pain would shoot hard through the pretty fog still misting his brain. Man, he'd have to find out just what that potion was or the next few weeks were going to suck.
It took him a second to realize he could hear someone shouting his name.
"Sokka!" Katara called, one hand raised and waving frantically. She darted through the crowd much faster than Sokka's one leg and crutch could manage and just stopped herself from throwing her arms around him when she saw him.
"Your leg," she gasped, already trying to kneel, her hands reaching towards his bandaged limb.
"Not now, someone already looked at it, it's all right," Sokka said, anxiously scanning the area around her. He should be here, standing in the background like he always did, waiting for it to be his turn. Then Sokka could hold them both close and reassure his aching heart that they were all right.
All around them were friends, the swamp benders, the invasion troops, even plenty of fire nation locals, but the one person Sokka needed to see wasn't there.
His heartbeat was echoing in his ears. "Where's Zuko?"
"He's all right, he's with the court physician right now." Her expression darkened. "He and Azula fought and she cheated. Big surprise there. But he's going to be all right."
"Well, come on, let's go," he said impatiently, already limping towards the palace doors.
Katara lingered behind him, one hand raised as though to hold him back. "Sokka, wait," she called, her brow creased as she jogged up next to him.
"I don't want to wait," Sokka told her, more than a little edgy. He felt jittery with leftover adrenaline and the weird potion. "I want to see that he's okay." It seemed like five minutes ago they'd all been wanted criminals of the Fire Nation and Zuko had been a traitor. Did he even have to tell Katara how much he didn't trust this easy acceptance of the old Fire Lord's defeat? They'd taken Aang off and Zuko was hurt and alone, and if Sokka hadn't been half out of his brain on pain and drugs he might have been warier before.
He ignored Katara's protests, a low buzz in his ear as he pushed his way through the crowd. What was wrong with her, anyway?
"Sokka, you need to stop!" The sudden hot pain of her hand against his cheek jolted him to a stop, the loud crack of it almost as shocking. He stared at her, one eye watering from the startling pain and he raised a hand to touch his cheek wonderingly, felt the heat from it. She'd...she'd actually hit him. Sokka didn't even remember the last time he and Katara had come to blows. Certainly he hadn't raised a hand to her since before he'd worn a wolf's tail; his gran gran's threats over what punishment he could earn by hitting a girl hadn't made it seem worthwhile.
He blinked at her, still flush with weird fire nation hallucinogens and the hot throbbing in his cheek. Her eyes were apologetic but he still couldn't help flinching as she reached up to touch his face, liquid cool easing the pain that she had caused.
"I'm sorry, but you need to listen to me," Katara said, her words urgent but gentle. "You can't just go barging into the palace like this."
"Why not?" he challenged. She hadn't had a problem with him and Zuko before and now was a pretty sucky time to start. He was in there right now with the people who'd been following his dad all these years and who knew what they were doing to him?
"Because he's the new Fire Lord, or just as good as. Do you really think the guards are going to let you in?" Her eyes were sad. "I wouldn't have been able to stay as long as I did if Zuko hadn't insisted. I'm not entirely sure they'll let us back in and now is not the time for us to be arguing the guards. Everything is still confused, it'll be a while before things settle down."
"Of course it's confused, they aren't used to being—" Not evil, he didn't say, eyeing the fire nation people milling around the plaza warily. "He should have us with him, he shouldn't be alone."
"He isn't alone," Katara insisted. "Aang is with him. And trust me, no one is going to hurt him. I know it doesn't seem like it, but a lot of people are glad he's taking over. They aren't blind, they could see what was happening with Ozai, but there wasn't much they could do. They follow their leader. And Azula—" her expression tightened again, whatever story was behind that Katara didn't seem up to talking about it yet. "Believe me, Zuko is welcome here."
"But—" he whispered, every part of him wanted to protest, especially the ache in the pit of his stomach, the one that told him Zuko had been hurt and he should be there. But he couldn't find words to argue with Katara's logic.
"I'm sure you'll see him soon. Please, let's just go find dad for now." He let Katara pull him away, limping slowly after her before he suddenly stopped. She turned towards him, concerned, and he pulled her closer, hugging her tight. Words choked in his throat for once and how could he tell her how hard it had been to let the two of them go out alone? He didn't doubt their skills, knew that they could both pretty much kick his ass at will but he'd known what they were up against and even knowing he wouldn't be the most helpful guy against a crazy firebender didn't stop him from wanting to be with them.
Slowly, he let her go and she looked almost more concerned but let it go, giving him a warm smile before pulling him along again, her blue eyes searching anxiously through the crowd. It seemed to take forever, the dull ache in his leg sending out low throbs of pain that were trickling through the lingering medicinal fog. He was nearly tempted to ask Katara to take a break when he felt her come up short, felt the tremble of recognition go through her.
"Dad!" Katara cried out, the happiness in her voice was like a song. She darted away, leaving Sokka to follow her as fast as his unhappy leg would allow. It was easier to forget the ache when his father's strong arms pulled him in, hugging him tightly.
"I heard what you both did" his father said, smiling warmly down on them. "I am the proudest father in the whole world. And I know your mother would be proud, too."
He could see the tears welling in Katara's eyes and he had to swallow away a lump in his own throat. Even so, he was only half listening, lingering thoughts kept drifting back towards the palace, unwilling fears heavy in his chest. Sokka wasn't a magic guy, didn't have an ounce of waterbending to him. He was a warrior and he trusted what he could see and touch, preferring to remain outside of all the mystical mumbo jumbo. He'd seen where those paths led, straight into moon girlfriends and weird spirit journeys. So he stuck with those basics, see and touch, and right now the one he wanted to see and touch was getting spirits only knew what kind of treatment behind those heavy, closed doors.
His goodbye to Zuko at the White Lotus camp had been awkward and quick, neither one of them willing to do more than wish the other a good journey before they'd gone their own ways. It had been completely unsatisfying, words unspoken between them and knowing what they wanted to say didn't exactly make up for not saying it. That had been an inspiration to stay alive right there. There was no way he was going to die without hearing Zuko say it.
Hanging from the air ship, Toph barely clinging to him, he'd had little time to regret that he hadn't said the hell with it and just kissed him, or even just pulled him in a little and whispered it. If they'd still been on Ember Island, he wouldn't have hesitated, might have even left a hickey to remind Zuko exactly what was what. It was different somehow when the onlookers weren't just Team Avatar, who all knew and didn't really care. Even with the knowing, almost sly looks Iroh had given him, it suddenly seemed...weird.
It wasn't like he didn't know Zuko was a prince. He'd been just about blaring it around since the moment they'd all done their first, unpleasant get-together. But somehow, hearing the words, Iroh saying that Zuko would be the next Fire Lord had been a nasty little jolt.
Things were going to change, he'd expected them to change, but he could already tell some of those changes were not going to make him happy. It was already beginning, you can't go in and see the new Fire Lord, the new Fire Lord is with his physician, the new Fire Lord is with the Avatar, not Aang, no, the Avatar and a something was tightening anxiously in his throat and deeper. He had to see Zuko, not the new Fire Lord before things got even weirder. He just needed to talk to him.
The rustle of skirts caught his attention and he looked up, a smile breaking through his gloom as Suki and her Kyoshi warriors joined them.
"There's my favorite warriors!" he called, forcing cheer into his voice. "You know, I even missed the face paint."
It was Suki's smile, her eyes, that told him the truth; sad and a little distant, her true face hiding behind her warrior's mask. It made him falter a little, slowing his rush to her, and he knew. If he kissed her, she'd accept it...as a friend. He stepped up to her, one hand hesitating at her shoulder and his mouth opened, some stupid apology forming because he loved her, he did, and his heart was aching but really, it wasn't with her. And they both knew it.
Before he could say anything, her gloved hand gently cover his mouth, stifling whatever stupidity might have tumbled out, words that wouldn't have helped dammed behind his teeth.
"So how does it feel to be back in uniform again?" Sokka asked, and if his voice was a little husky, Suki didn't say, the same way Sokka politely ignored the overbright shine in eyes and the way she widened them deliberately, tipping her head up to keep any wetness from messing up her face paint.
"It feels great!" Came a too cheery voice from behind her and Sokka gaped, automatically shoving Suki behind him because hey, maybe they were breaking up but it didn't mean he wanted her dead. Leaving a trail of dead girlfriends behind was the kind of reputation that would stick with a guy.
And how could he have known that Ty Lee had joined the Kyoshi warriors for real this time? It wasn't like they had a newsletter or something because if they did, Sokka would have signed up for a hawk-o-gram ages ago. The way people kept switching sides around here, a guy really needed a chart to keep track.
There was still a pain in his heart, a regretful clenching that let could-have-beens and might-have-dones, half realized dreams that would never come true hovering sickly in his chest. But seeing her with her people made it a little easier, a feeble salve on his wounded heart. She would be all right, at least, and soon, maybe he would be, too.
The low, hollow sound of a gong drew everyone forward, the plaza falling silent as all the people settled into place and no one protested when Sokka pushed his way to the front, his father's hand under his elbow supporting him as he made his way shakily through the crowd. His eyes saw nothing but the raised dais and the tall figure that walked out onto it through parted curtains. Encased in horrible, unfamiliar robes that made him seem broader than Sokka knew he was, his hair bound up in a topknot, drawing out the angular lines of his cheeks. He seemed older than he was, solemn and determined. Strong. This was the new Fire Lord before them, speaking of peace, kneeling before them as he accepted his birthright.
Sokka ignored it all, barely noticed that it was his father's strength that kept him upright. His eyes were tracing every line of the man in front of him greedily, absorbing every word, every faint smile, and all he saw was Zuko.
~~*~~
It wasn't that he didn't appreciate the lengths that the Royal Guard went through to keep their new lord safe, he completely did, would have demanded it, in fact. There was bound to be a nutjob or two out there who wasn't happy with the new world order and taking out the new guy in charge might be a pretty effective way to throw things into chaos. Even if Zuko could take care of himself, it would be better if he didn't have to, or at least not much.
So yeah, protective guards, great, except for how they seemed to want to protect him from Sokka and that wasn't even in the realm of helpful. Particularly the little guy who seemed to be in charge of the schedule, whom Sokka had mentally dubbed The High Lord of Jerkiness. It seemed like every time Sokka tried to get in to see him, there was the High Lord with some excuse. The Fire Lord is in a meeting, the Fire Lord has gone to question a prisoner,
(and what the heck did that mean?)
The Fire Lord, blah, blah, blah. The H. L. of Jerk. was getting close to getting a crutch up his ass and when he did, Sokka was going to give it an extra twist while he explaining he didn't give two squirts about the Fire Lord, he wanted to see Zuko.
It was nearly dusk when Sokka decided to employ alternate means. Mainly, distraction and all a guy needed for that was the proper method of implementation.
"Is this entirely necessary," Aang asked dubiously, his feet dragging against the carpet as Sokka prodded him along.
"Yes," Sokka assured him, poking him in the back with his crutch to keep him moving. "Now, remember the plan, all you need to do is distract them while I get inside, okay? Nothing too fancy, but if that doesn't work, feel free to encase them in ice, or stone, or whatever's handy. But not fire, that would be a little extreme."
"A little, yeah," Aang agreed, still doubtful, but he wasn't saying no, that was the important thing. "Are you sure he's even in there?"
"Ye-es," Sokka said, drawing it out in an exaggerated sigh. "There wouldn't be a gang of clones guarding the door if it was just a closet, you know."
"But why don't you just ask-"
"I did ask, and then I begged, and then I threatened!" Sokka hissed, "The first and second got ignored and I'm pretty sure they laughed at the third. Please, Aang, I just want to see him for a minute! I'm pretty sure Zuko won't let them kill us if they get mad."
Pretty sure.
"Okay, okay," Aang held up his hand in surrender. "I'll help. I just really don't want to destroy world peace on the first day."
That didn't even deserve an answer. He wanted to talk to Zuko and make sure he was okay, and possibly sex him up a little bit if he was up to it. They weren't plotting an assassination, unless you counted his mental thoughts towards his Jerkiness.
Sokka peered around the corner, eyeing the two guards posted next to the heavy wooden doors. "Okay, he's still in there. Go do your stuff."
With a heavy sigh, Aang pasted a bright, fake smile on before skipping out to talk to the guards. Sokka didn't even bother to suppress the urge to roll his eyes. Way to overdo it, Aang. Still, his animated gestures and bright chatter seemed to be working; the guards were drawing away from the door, warily, obviously wanting to help the Avatar but reluctant to leave their lord. Finally, the door was clear enough for Sokka to sneak past them, slipping silently inside and he made a mental note to tell Zuko he needed some better guards. These ones didn't seem very focused on the job.
The long hallway inside was darkened but he could see a lit doorway at the end, creeping along as carefully as a guy with a crutch could. Not that he was trying to scare Zuko but he didn't exactly want to bump into any extra guards either. He didn’t really want anyone to fry first and ask questions later.
He peered through the doorway, eyes searching, and they lit instantly on the one person they'd been searching for all day. Hair free of the topknot and wearing only a loose robe, wow, this was obviously Zuko's bedroom, good luck all the way around. It was easy to ignore the fact that this one room was half the size of his entire village and the nagging pain in his leg faded as he finally stepped into the room.
He'd still been quiet, hadn't given any sign of his presence that he knew of but somehow Zuko sensed him, looking up and their eyes met. Sokka managed a weak smile, words choking in his throat because he wanted to say, we did it, buddy, or hey, whose the new lord, or even let those three little words spill again, softly, but all he could do was limp forward, hands already reaching. Just now, he'd rather use his mouth for something other than words. He has his hands on Zuko in an instant, his mouth tilting up for a kiss--
And Zuko pushed him away, his grip on Sokka's arms hard enough to be painful.
What's wrong, Sokka didn't have a chance to say, words dying on his lips because Zuko's face was carefully blank and there was another face over his shoulder, one Sokka hadn't seen since they'd been escaping from prison, pale and beautiful, dark eyes bored. She was sitting on the bed, one leg drawn up under her and her chin resting on a slender hand.
"Please, don't stop on my account," she drawled, a faint smirk curving one corner of her mouth.
Zuko's lips thinned. "Sokka, you've met Mai."
"Yeah," Sokka whispered. His eyes felt too-large and dry, his throat clicking as he swallowed painfully. "Gloomy and sighing. I remember."
"I remember you, too," Mai said boredly. "Ty Lee will be disappointed she missed you."
"I already saw her," Sokka couldn't seem to stop talking even though each word felt like it was being drawn out of him with a knife, sharp and cold.
"Yes, her and the girls. That seems to have worked out well." She didn't sound much as if she cared one way or another.
He startled when Zuko moved, pulling his hands away. Sokka could still feel the imprint of them on his arms and he dimly realized he'd have bruises tomorrow, darkened circles around his biceps like dull tattoos.
Zuko pushed one hand through his hair roughly, turning away. "Look, Sokka, why don't we talk later, okay? I know we have a lot to talk about I just...maybe tomorrow, all right?"
The seeping paralysis that had crept over him from the first moment Zuko had touched him seemed to break and Sokka jerked his head up, eyes meeting Zuko's again and he could see the pleading in them, begging him to leave.
"Yeah, tomorrow, sorry," Sokka said, dully. "I should go."He couldn't look at Zuko anymore, eyes falling down the tiles of the floor where it was safe. They were pretty, he realized, the edges curling with frolicking dragons. Each one probably cost more than everything Sokka owned.
"I...yeah," Zuko said, slowly. "I've made arrangements for you all to stay in the palace. I'll have someone show you and Suki to your room."
Sokka didn't bother to correct him, only backed away, the doorjamb hitting him in the back before he even realized how far away he was. He didn't look up, barely stopped himself from flinching violently when a hand slid into his field of vision and hesitated.
"Do you need a hand? Your leg-"
"No, no, I'm fine," Sokka said brightly, limping back through the door. "I'll just...I'll get out of your way."
"Sokka-"
And Sokka realized he didn't have to look at Zuko, he knew the helpless expression that was on his face, knew it like a well loved book and with that knowledge came a sharp burst of pain, breaking through his numbness.
"Tomorrow," Sokka said, a little sharply, even as he backed further away, he had to get out of here, had to get out.
"Tomorrow," Zuko echoed and that was the last word between them as Sokka made his way stiffly back out into the darkened hallway and out the main door. He didn't even bother trying to be discreet and if the guards thought his sudden appearance was strange, they didn't say.
Aang was waiting around the corner, twisting his hands together anxiously. His tentative smile faded as Sokka limped past him, barely aware of where he was even going.
"Sokka?"
"I'm really tired." His voice was thready, weak. "Do you know where our rooms are?"
Aang ignored that, falling into step beside him."What happened?" Aang whispered, urgently, his eyes wide and dark in his pale face.
"It's fine," Sokka said automatically. "It's...fine. But my leg really hurts. I want to lie down."
He had to stop talking then, couldn't keep trying to reassure the anxiousness he saw on Aang's face. Instead he leaned heavily on his crutch and didn't protest when Aang slipped under his other arm, steadying him.
It was easy to lean on Aang, all of a sudden, borrowing the surprising strength in that small frame. He followed it down long hallways, to another room with large ornate doors. He took Aang's hesitation to mean that this was his room and slid away from him, nearly falling from the loss of support.
"Sokka, do you need anything?" Aang hovered, reluctant to leave him.
"Nah," Sokka didn't even try to smile. "Thanks for helping."
He barely made it inside before he collapsed, bad leg stretched out in front of him and the other pulled up tight to his chest, both arms wrapped around it. His eyes felt achingly dry, staring into a spacious room with a welcoming fire crackling in the hearth. He could see his own bag resting on a chair and a small, familiar cup that he recognized as holding more of that mindbending fire nation medicine waiting helpfully for him.
He ignored it all, concentrating on the growing throb in his leg, letting that pain overshadow everything as he sat on the cold floor and stared into the silent room, his eyes seeing nothing at all.
-finis-
By Keelywolfe
Sokka/Zuko
R
Sixteenth in a series:
No Turning Back
Division of Time
Conflicted
Manly Pursuits
Interlude: Aang
Say Anything
Interlude, Suki
Random Curiosity
Envy Was A Fever
Couldn't Drag Me Away
For the Love of Cheese
Interlude, Toph
As Easy As Breathing
Interlude, Iroh
Stealing Darkness
Summary: Set during the last episode. The Fire Lord is defeated and Sokka is looking for someone.
~~*~~
It didn't feel like Aang had expected. All his life he'd been told about this great power that he possessed and even when he'd learned the other elements, coaxed them to his will, it hadn't felt quite the same as Airbending. Not wrong, exactly, but not quite as natural. He had to reach deeper for each of them, Earthbending especially, had to pull it from his center, from that place inside himself that wasn't Aang, but the Avatar.
There had been a bare handful of time that it had all felt perfectly aligned within himself and that had been those times he'd gone unwillingly into the Avatar state. He'd felt the power then, the perfection, but he hadn't been able to hold onto it, the feeling slipping away from him like sand through his fingers. Or water.
Now he could feel it, humming softly just outside of his consciousness and knew that when he drew on it , it would come. That perfection was his and he could use it when he needed it, felt the bell-like sweetness of the elements in harmony inside himself.
A pained moan drew his attention and Aang turned back to the defeated Fire Lord lying weakly on the ground. It was strange to see him like this, so close that Aang could nudge him with the toe of his boot. Over the past year he'd gotten an idea of the Fire Lord lodged in his head, a little dream image that haunted him from time to time, and now seeing him, actually seeing him, that nightmare smeared image was fading and he could see that the Fire Lord...that Ozai was just a man. He was younger than Aang had expected; the lines at the corners of his eyes still faint, his body unbent by years gone by.
If he looked at him objectively he could see that the man was even sort of attractive, for an old guy.
Aang realized with a start that Zuko looked a lot like his father.
One of the airships coasted closer, the docking plank drawing out to rest on the stone butt and he turned towards it eagerly, watching Toph and Suki help a limping Sokka down the plank. He had one leg bandaged tightly with a ragged length of cloth but no one else seemed to have as much as a bruise. Aang grinned at them all, barely restraining himself from throwing himself at them except that Sokka looked like he was barely teetering on his feet as it was and falling off the rock into the canyon now wouldn't be a good thing.
They'd won, he was coming to realize, the reality of it settling in. They'd won and come out alive! They'd actually done it and if there was ever a time to celebrate, it had to be now. He waited eagerly for the joke that he knew Sokka would toss out, the glee, because Sokka was the plan guy, the meat and sarcasm, he was the humor guy, the glue that had held their ragtag little team together.
His smile faltered when the jokes didn't come, when Sokka limped closer to the man lying pathetically defeated in the dirt. He stared at Ozai coldly and Aang watched in silence as Sokka spat on him and turned away, turning his back to their fallen enemy.
The grin that lit Sokka's face sent the smoldering ashes of his joy alight again, and here was the glee he'd been waiting for. "You should have seen yourself!" Sokka yelled, tottering on one leg as he flailed his arms. "It was amazing! You were like, byoooo!" He waved his hands madly in something that could have been a firebending form if the firebender really had to go to the bathroom.
He relaxed happily into Sokka's crazy monologue, reaching up to scratch Momo's ears when the slight weight of the lemur settled on his shoulder. If this was what he'd saved the world for, so that nutty Water Tribesmen had a place in it, he'd call that good enough.
~*~
The main plaza in the palace was already crowded with people, brimming with victory as they stood on soil that wasn't so much conquered as returned to the rightful heir. Aang had already been escorted out and much as Sokka had been wary of letting him go with an honor guard made up of fire nation nationals, well, like he could have stopped them, anyway. Besides, Aang was more than a match for anything the 'C' students of firebending had to throw at him.
He'd been a lot less wary of the very nice physician who'd been quickly summoned to look at his leg. One teacup of a particularly foul tasting brew and Sokka would have been happy to let Momo set his leg. He'd flopped back and let the guy do his thing, singing a dirty little Earth Kingdom song that Toph had taught him one night. He didn't quite understand it all but he was sure he knew what shove your hard rock into my moist cave stood for.
Pretty sure, anyway.
They'd made him stay until the rainbow shine at the edges of his vision had faded somewhat, the doctor guy handing him a crutch firmly before grumbling off to take care of some of the other wounded.
"Thanks, doctor guy!" Sokka called after him happily, shuffling to his feet and into the crowd. There were people to be found and while he knew Katara and Zuko were alive and stuff, and yeah, their welcome here might have been a little less doctorly and a little more jailer-ly if they hadn't, Sokka kinda wanted to see them with his own eyes, hug them with his own arms. Tight.
He slowly made his way through the crowd, searching for a splash of blue since there still seemed to be an overabundance of red just yet. It was a little rough going; every once in a while he'd forget and put weight on his bad leg and a shot of pain would shoot hard through the pretty fog still misting his brain. Man, he'd have to find out just what that potion was or the next few weeks were going to suck.
It took him a second to realize he could hear someone shouting his name.
"Sokka!" Katara called, one hand raised and waving frantically. She darted through the crowd much faster than Sokka's one leg and crutch could manage and just stopped herself from throwing her arms around him when she saw him.
"Your leg," she gasped, already trying to kneel, her hands reaching towards his bandaged limb.
"Not now, someone already looked at it, it's all right," Sokka said, anxiously scanning the area around her. He should be here, standing in the background like he always did, waiting for it to be his turn. Then Sokka could hold them both close and reassure his aching heart that they were all right.
All around them were friends, the swamp benders, the invasion troops, even plenty of fire nation locals, but the one person Sokka needed to see wasn't there.
His heartbeat was echoing in his ears. "Where's Zuko?"
"He's all right, he's with the court physician right now." Her expression darkened. "He and Azula fought and she cheated. Big surprise there. But he's going to be all right."
"Well, come on, let's go," he said impatiently, already limping towards the palace doors.
Katara lingered behind him, one hand raised as though to hold him back. "Sokka, wait," she called, her brow creased as she jogged up next to him.
"I don't want to wait," Sokka told her, more than a little edgy. He felt jittery with leftover adrenaline and the weird potion. "I want to see that he's okay." It seemed like five minutes ago they'd all been wanted criminals of the Fire Nation and Zuko had been a traitor. Did he even have to tell Katara how much he didn't trust this easy acceptance of the old Fire Lord's defeat? They'd taken Aang off and Zuko was hurt and alone, and if Sokka hadn't been half out of his brain on pain and drugs he might have been warier before.
He ignored Katara's protests, a low buzz in his ear as he pushed his way through the crowd. What was wrong with her, anyway?
"Sokka, you need to stop!" The sudden hot pain of her hand against his cheek jolted him to a stop, the loud crack of it almost as shocking. He stared at her, one eye watering from the startling pain and he raised a hand to touch his cheek wonderingly, felt the heat from it. She'd...she'd actually hit him. Sokka didn't even remember the last time he and Katara had come to blows. Certainly he hadn't raised a hand to her since before he'd worn a wolf's tail; his gran gran's threats over what punishment he could earn by hitting a girl hadn't made it seem worthwhile.
He blinked at her, still flush with weird fire nation hallucinogens and the hot throbbing in his cheek. Her eyes were apologetic but he still couldn't help flinching as she reached up to touch his face, liquid cool easing the pain that she had caused.
"I'm sorry, but you need to listen to me," Katara said, her words urgent but gentle. "You can't just go barging into the palace like this."
"Why not?" he challenged. She hadn't had a problem with him and Zuko before and now was a pretty sucky time to start. He was in there right now with the people who'd been following his dad all these years and who knew what they were doing to him?
"Because he's the new Fire Lord, or just as good as. Do you really think the guards are going to let you in?" Her eyes were sad. "I wouldn't have been able to stay as long as I did if Zuko hadn't insisted. I'm not entirely sure they'll let us back in and now is not the time for us to be arguing the guards. Everything is still confused, it'll be a while before things settle down."
"Of course it's confused, they aren't used to being—" Not evil, he didn't say, eyeing the fire nation people milling around the plaza warily. "He should have us with him, he shouldn't be alone."
"He isn't alone," Katara insisted. "Aang is with him. And trust me, no one is going to hurt him. I know it doesn't seem like it, but a lot of people are glad he's taking over. They aren't blind, they could see what was happening with Ozai, but there wasn't much they could do. They follow their leader. And Azula—" her expression tightened again, whatever story was behind that Katara didn't seem up to talking about it yet. "Believe me, Zuko is welcome here."
"But—" he whispered, every part of him wanted to protest, especially the ache in the pit of his stomach, the one that told him Zuko had been hurt and he should be there. But he couldn't find words to argue with Katara's logic.
"I'm sure you'll see him soon. Please, let's just go find dad for now." He let Katara pull him away, limping slowly after her before he suddenly stopped. She turned towards him, concerned, and he pulled her closer, hugging her tight. Words choked in his throat for once and how could he tell her how hard it had been to let the two of them go out alone? He didn't doubt their skills, knew that they could both pretty much kick his ass at will but he'd known what they were up against and even knowing he wouldn't be the most helpful guy against a crazy firebender didn't stop him from wanting to be with them.
Slowly, he let her go and she looked almost more concerned but let it go, giving him a warm smile before pulling him along again, her blue eyes searching anxiously through the crowd. It seemed to take forever, the dull ache in his leg sending out low throbs of pain that were trickling through the lingering medicinal fog. He was nearly tempted to ask Katara to take a break when he felt her come up short, felt the tremble of recognition go through her.
"Dad!" Katara cried out, the happiness in her voice was like a song. She darted away, leaving Sokka to follow her as fast as his unhappy leg would allow. It was easier to forget the ache when his father's strong arms pulled him in, hugging him tightly.
"I heard what you both did" his father said, smiling warmly down on them. "I am the proudest father in the whole world. And I know your mother would be proud, too."
He could see the tears welling in Katara's eyes and he had to swallow away a lump in his own throat. Even so, he was only half listening, lingering thoughts kept drifting back towards the palace, unwilling fears heavy in his chest. Sokka wasn't a magic guy, didn't have an ounce of waterbending to him. He was a warrior and he trusted what he could see and touch, preferring to remain outside of all the mystical mumbo jumbo. He'd seen where those paths led, straight into moon girlfriends and weird spirit journeys. So he stuck with those basics, see and touch, and right now the one he wanted to see and touch was getting spirits only knew what kind of treatment behind those heavy, closed doors.
His goodbye to Zuko at the White Lotus camp had been awkward and quick, neither one of them willing to do more than wish the other a good journey before they'd gone their own ways. It had been completely unsatisfying, words unspoken between them and knowing what they wanted to say didn't exactly make up for not saying it. That had been an inspiration to stay alive right there. There was no way he was going to die without hearing Zuko say it.
Hanging from the air ship, Toph barely clinging to him, he'd had little time to regret that he hadn't said the hell with it and just kissed him, or even just pulled him in a little and whispered it. If they'd still been on Ember Island, he wouldn't have hesitated, might have even left a hickey to remind Zuko exactly what was what. It was different somehow when the onlookers weren't just Team Avatar, who all knew and didn't really care. Even with the knowing, almost sly looks Iroh had given him, it suddenly seemed...weird.
It wasn't like he didn't know Zuko was a prince. He'd been just about blaring it around since the moment they'd all done their first, unpleasant get-together. But somehow, hearing the words, Iroh saying that Zuko would be the next Fire Lord had been a nasty little jolt.
Things were going to change, he'd expected them to change, but he could already tell some of those changes were not going to make him happy. It was already beginning, you can't go in and see the new Fire Lord, the new Fire Lord is with his physician, the new Fire Lord is with the Avatar, not Aang, no, the Avatar and a something was tightening anxiously in his throat and deeper. He had to see Zuko, not the new Fire Lord before things got even weirder. He just needed to talk to him.
The rustle of skirts caught his attention and he looked up, a smile breaking through his gloom as Suki and her Kyoshi warriors joined them.
"There's my favorite warriors!" he called, forcing cheer into his voice. "You know, I even missed the face paint."
It was Suki's smile, her eyes, that told him the truth; sad and a little distant, her true face hiding behind her warrior's mask. It made him falter a little, slowing his rush to her, and he knew. If he kissed her, she'd accept it...as a friend. He stepped up to her, one hand hesitating at her shoulder and his mouth opened, some stupid apology forming because he loved her, he did, and his heart was aching but really, it wasn't with her. And they both knew it.
Before he could say anything, her gloved hand gently cover his mouth, stifling whatever stupidity might have tumbled out, words that wouldn't have helped dammed behind his teeth.
"So how does it feel to be back in uniform again?" Sokka asked, and if his voice was a little husky, Suki didn't say, the same way Sokka politely ignored the overbright shine in eyes and the way she widened them deliberately, tipping her head up to keep any wetness from messing up her face paint.
"It feels great!" Came a too cheery voice from behind her and Sokka gaped, automatically shoving Suki behind him because hey, maybe they were breaking up but it didn't mean he wanted her dead. Leaving a trail of dead girlfriends behind was the kind of reputation that would stick with a guy.
And how could he have known that Ty Lee had joined the Kyoshi warriors for real this time? It wasn't like they had a newsletter or something because if they did, Sokka would have signed up for a hawk-o-gram ages ago. The way people kept switching sides around here, a guy really needed a chart to keep track.
There was still a pain in his heart, a regretful clenching that let could-have-beens and might-have-dones, half realized dreams that would never come true hovering sickly in his chest. But seeing her with her people made it a little easier, a feeble salve on his wounded heart. She would be all right, at least, and soon, maybe he would be, too.
The low, hollow sound of a gong drew everyone forward, the plaza falling silent as all the people settled into place and no one protested when Sokka pushed his way to the front, his father's hand under his elbow supporting him as he made his way shakily through the crowd. His eyes saw nothing but the raised dais and the tall figure that walked out onto it through parted curtains. Encased in horrible, unfamiliar robes that made him seem broader than Sokka knew he was, his hair bound up in a topknot, drawing out the angular lines of his cheeks. He seemed older than he was, solemn and determined. Strong. This was the new Fire Lord before them, speaking of peace, kneeling before them as he accepted his birthright.
Sokka ignored it all, barely noticed that it was his father's strength that kept him upright. His eyes were tracing every line of the man in front of him greedily, absorbing every word, every faint smile, and all he saw was Zuko.
~~*~~
It wasn't that he didn't appreciate the lengths that the Royal Guard went through to keep their new lord safe, he completely did, would have demanded it, in fact. There was bound to be a nutjob or two out there who wasn't happy with the new world order and taking out the new guy in charge might be a pretty effective way to throw things into chaos. Even if Zuko could take care of himself, it would be better if he didn't have to, or at least not much.
So yeah, protective guards, great, except for how they seemed to want to protect him from Sokka and that wasn't even in the realm of helpful. Particularly the little guy who seemed to be in charge of the schedule, whom Sokka had mentally dubbed The High Lord of Jerkiness. It seemed like every time Sokka tried to get in to see him, there was the High Lord with some excuse. The Fire Lord is in a meeting, the Fire Lord has gone to question a prisoner,
(and what the heck did that mean?)
The Fire Lord, blah, blah, blah. The H. L. of Jerk. was getting close to getting a crutch up his ass and when he did, Sokka was going to give it an extra twist while he explaining he didn't give two squirts about the Fire Lord, he wanted to see Zuko.
It was nearly dusk when Sokka decided to employ alternate means. Mainly, distraction and all a guy needed for that was the proper method of implementation.
"Is this entirely necessary," Aang asked dubiously, his feet dragging against the carpet as Sokka prodded him along.
"Yes," Sokka assured him, poking him in the back with his crutch to keep him moving. "Now, remember the plan, all you need to do is distract them while I get inside, okay? Nothing too fancy, but if that doesn't work, feel free to encase them in ice, or stone, or whatever's handy. But not fire, that would be a little extreme."
"A little, yeah," Aang agreed, still doubtful, but he wasn't saying no, that was the important thing. "Are you sure he's even in there?"
"Ye-es," Sokka said, drawing it out in an exaggerated sigh. "There wouldn't be a gang of clones guarding the door if it was just a closet, you know."
"But why don't you just ask-"
"I did ask, and then I begged, and then I threatened!" Sokka hissed, "The first and second got ignored and I'm pretty sure they laughed at the third. Please, Aang, I just want to see him for a minute! I'm pretty sure Zuko won't let them kill us if they get mad."
Pretty sure.
"Okay, okay," Aang held up his hand in surrender. "I'll help. I just really don't want to destroy world peace on the first day."
That didn't even deserve an answer. He wanted to talk to Zuko and make sure he was okay, and possibly sex him up a little bit if he was up to it. They weren't plotting an assassination, unless you counted his mental thoughts towards his Jerkiness.
Sokka peered around the corner, eyeing the two guards posted next to the heavy wooden doors. "Okay, he's still in there. Go do your stuff."
With a heavy sigh, Aang pasted a bright, fake smile on before skipping out to talk to the guards. Sokka didn't even bother to suppress the urge to roll his eyes. Way to overdo it, Aang. Still, his animated gestures and bright chatter seemed to be working; the guards were drawing away from the door, warily, obviously wanting to help the Avatar but reluctant to leave their lord. Finally, the door was clear enough for Sokka to sneak past them, slipping silently inside and he made a mental note to tell Zuko he needed some better guards. These ones didn't seem very focused on the job.
The long hallway inside was darkened but he could see a lit doorway at the end, creeping along as carefully as a guy with a crutch could. Not that he was trying to scare Zuko but he didn't exactly want to bump into any extra guards either. He didn’t really want anyone to fry first and ask questions later.
He peered through the doorway, eyes searching, and they lit instantly on the one person they'd been searching for all day. Hair free of the topknot and wearing only a loose robe, wow, this was obviously Zuko's bedroom, good luck all the way around. It was easy to ignore the fact that this one room was half the size of his entire village and the nagging pain in his leg faded as he finally stepped into the room.
He'd still been quiet, hadn't given any sign of his presence that he knew of but somehow Zuko sensed him, looking up and their eyes met. Sokka managed a weak smile, words choking in his throat because he wanted to say, we did it, buddy, or hey, whose the new lord, or even let those three little words spill again, softly, but all he could do was limp forward, hands already reaching. Just now, he'd rather use his mouth for something other than words. He has his hands on Zuko in an instant, his mouth tilting up for a kiss--
And Zuko pushed him away, his grip on Sokka's arms hard enough to be painful.
What's wrong, Sokka didn't have a chance to say, words dying on his lips because Zuko's face was carefully blank and there was another face over his shoulder, one Sokka hadn't seen since they'd been escaping from prison, pale and beautiful, dark eyes bored. She was sitting on the bed, one leg drawn up under her and her chin resting on a slender hand.
"Please, don't stop on my account," she drawled, a faint smirk curving one corner of her mouth.
Zuko's lips thinned. "Sokka, you've met Mai."
"Yeah," Sokka whispered. His eyes felt too-large and dry, his throat clicking as he swallowed painfully. "Gloomy and sighing. I remember."
"I remember you, too," Mai said boredly. "Ty Lee will be disappointed she missed you."
"I already saw her," Sokka couldn't seem to stop talking even though each word felt like it was being drawn out of him with a knife, sharp and cold.
"Yes, her and the girls. That seems to have worked out well." She didn't sound much as if she cared one way or another.
He startled when Zuko moved, pulling his hands away. Sokka could still feel the imprint of them on his arms and he dimly realized he'd have bruises tomorrow, darkened circles around his biceps like dull tattoos.
Zuko pushed one hand through his hair roughly, turning away. "Look, Sokka, why don't we talk later, okay? I know we have a lot to talk about I just...maybe tomorrow, all right?"
The seeping paralysis that had crept over him from the first moment Zuko had touched him seemed to break and Sokka jerked his head up, eyes meeting Zuko's again and he could see the pleading in them, begging him to leave.
"Yeah, tomorrow, sorry," Sokka said, dully. "I should go."He couldn't look at Zuko anymore, eyes falling down the tiles of the floor where it was safe. They were pretty, he realized, the edges curling with frolicking dragons. Each one probably cost more than everything Sokka owned.
"I...yeah," Zuko said, slowly. "I've made arrangements for you all to stay in the palace. I'll have someone show you and Suki to your room."
Sokka didn't bother to correct him, only backed away, the doorjamb hitting him in the back before he even realized how far away he was. He didn't look up, barely stopped himself from flinching violently when a hand slid into his field of vision and hesitated.
"Do you need a hand? Your leg-"
"No, no, I'm fine," Sokka said brightly, limping back through the door. "I'll just...I'll get out of your way."
"Sokka-"
And Sokka realized he didn't have to look at Zuko, he knew the helpless expression that was on his face, knew it like a well loved book and with that knowledge came a sharp burst of pain, breaking through his numbness.
"Tomorrow," Sokka said, a little sharply, even as he backed further away, he had to get out of here, had to get out.
"Tomorrow," Zuko echoed and that was the last word between them as Sokka made his way stiffly back out into the darkened hallway and out the main door. He didn't even bother trying to be discreet and if the guards thought his sudden appearance was strange, they didn't say.
Aang was waiting around the corner, twisting his hands together anxiously. His tentative smile faded as Sokka limped past him, barely aware of where he was even going.
"Sokka?"
"I'm really tired." His voice was thready, weak. "Do you know where our rooms are?"
Aang ignored that, falling into step beside him."What happened?" Aang whispered, urgently, his eyes wide and dark in his pale face.
"It's fine," Sokka said automatically. "It's...fine. But my leg really hurts. I want to lie down."
He had to stop talking then, couldn't keep trying to reassure the anxiousness he saw on Aang's face. Instead he leaned heavily on his crutch and didn't protest when Aang slipped under his other arm, steadying him.
It was easy to lean on Aang, all of a sudden, borrowing the surprising strength in that small frame. He followed it down long hallways, to another room with large ornate doors. He took Aang's hesitation to mean that this was his room and slid away from him, nearly falling from the loss of support.
"Sokka, do you need anything?" Aang hovered, reluctant to leave him.
"Nah," Sokka didn't even try to smile. "Thanks for helping."
He barely made it inside before he collapsed, bad leg stretched out in front of him and the other pulled up tight to his chest, both arms wrapped around it. His eyes felt achingly dry, staring into a spacious room with a welcoming fire crackling in the hearth. He could see his own bag resting on a chair and a small, familiar cup that he recognized as holding more of that mindbending fire nation medicine waiting helpfully for him.
He ignored it all, concentrating on the growing throb in his leg, letting that pain overshadow everything as he sat on the cold floor and stared into the silent room, his eyes seeing nothing at all.
-finis-
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2009-02-13 12:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-16 01:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-13 01:42 am (UTC)I hope, I hope, I HOPE it isn't like it seems, that Zuko was in the middle of having a 'serious discussion' with Mai, telling her she can be Fire Lady or whatever to continue the line only.
I felt for Sokka, I really did. The part where he just spits on Ozai was intense. I was thinking he was going to kick him even with the bum leg. I really enjoy how you're twisting the plot as if the show is editing out all the boylove that really went on.
Gah! Please! Continue!
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Date: 2009-02-16 01:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-13 02:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-16 01:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-13 05:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-16 01:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-13 07:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-16 01:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-16 04:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-16 07:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-17 02:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-05-09 08:44 pm (UTC)