In a moment like this the world was stable and good, and he could relax, let things seem almost normal and remember sitting in Gryffindor common room with his friends, holding his godson when he was born, flying through the velvety night sky on his motorcycle, the only memories of happiness left to him.
That just lifted me up and gave me hope for Sirius, until...
And then it would tilt and he would remember, the ground cracking beneath him and he knew there was a chance if he thought about it too much, let it shattered away and litter sharp-edged pieces of reason around him, that he would climb inside that shoe-lined closet and never come out again.
And that just dashed it beautifully back down.
He just CAN'T be a shade and have all those feelings. So sad and so good.
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Date: 2006-01-23 11:02 pm (UTC)That just lifted me up and gave me hope for Sirius, until...
And then it would tilt and he would remember, the ground cracking beneath him and he knew there was a chance if he thought about it too much, let it shattered away and litter sharp-edged pieces of reason around him, that he would climb inside that shoe-lined closet and never come out again.
And that just dashed it beautifully back down.
He just CAN'T be a shade and have all those feelings. So sad and so good.