This was really, really good. I was immediately hooked by the first paragraph. The last sentence of that paragraph was just beautiful.
And then it started getting cliched, and I was surprised. It was just things that we had all heard before, and it felt almost... empty. But you held it for just the right amount of time, and just as things were beginning to become horrible, we see Napolean there, and Illya knew. And this makes Illya's words all the more powerful, feeling helpless even when he knows he's going to regret it... practicing.
And I love how you ended the piece. The way it's unified by that repetition, so that, despite everything, in a way, we're back where we started.
Brilliant, brilliant writing. You are so incredible.
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This was really, really good. I was immediately hooked by the first paragraph. The last sentence of that paragraph was just beautiful.
And then it started getting cliched, and I was surprised. It was just things that we had all heard before, and it felt almost... empty. But you held it for just the right amount of time, and just as things were beginning to become horrible, we see Napolean there, and Illya knew. And this makes Illya's words all the more powerful, feeling helpless even when he knows he's going to regret it... practicing.
And I love how you ended the piece. The way it's unified by that repetition, so that, despite everything, in a way, we're back where we started.
Brilliant, brilliant writing. You are so incredible.
*fangirls you*