ext_11716 ([identity profile] keelywolfe.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] keelywolfe 2003-05-18 09:53 am (UTC)

Re: Ooh . . .

The swearing did seem odd, but then again, the dirty words for sex never change (most of them have been around since the middle ages, if not earlier).

That has always amused me, that most of the dirty words never change. *G* It felt odd to write, I admit, but I am nothing if not willing to try anything once.

I think it worked in this situation. I loved your Gimli characterization, and the Legolas who likes the smell of pipe weed. The sex was hot -- what a great thing to wake up to! The only suggestion I have is that you make it clear that Legolas is reaching for *Gimli's* trousers -- I was unclear on that for about a paragraph in. Kept getting this image of an elf sitting on a rock fondling himself, while Gimli watched.

Thank you for the note, I fixed that spot and it seems to read easier now. :)

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