Heh. I didn't really understand this the first time around. All these weird people, and I didn't know until the bottom that the two people he sees as brothers are elves. I read the books once, and didn't particularly enjoy them (I know, I know, I'm heathen).
Now that I've read it a second time, it makes much more sense. Which is good, because it's well written like all your other stories.
I adore the diction in this story. The way you can go between excessively formal diction, illustrating Estel's hyperbolic attempt to prove himself a man, before degrading to simpler words. I don't know if it was conscious or not, but it's done really well. you can see it really well in paragraph five, where Estel "stuck his tongue out," but, when the moment passed and he regained control, Elrohir "returned the gesture." So, yeah, I thought that was really well done.
Quasi-nitpick (vague pronoun reference):
Still, he tried to persuade him that this should be the time they rode out together
You never mention any specific one that he would be speaking to, and the him, therefore, makes no sense. Which brother is he talking to, or should it be a they?
no subject
Now that I've read it a second time, it makes much more sense. Which is good, because it's well written like all your other stories.
I adore the diction in this story. The way you can go between excessively formal diction, illustrating Estel's hyperbolic attempt to prove himself a man, before degrading to simpler words. I don't know if it was conscious or not, but it's done really well. you can see it really well in paragraph five, where Estel "stuck his tongue out," but, when the moment passed and he regained control, Elrohir "returned the gesture." So, yeah, I thought that was really well done.
Quasi-nitpick (vague pronoun reference):
Still, he tried to persuade him that this should be the time they rode out together
You never mention any specific one that he would be speaking to, and the him, therefore, makes no sense. Which brother is he talking to, or should it be a they?